Legends:1 A fear of lightning

This is not meant to be poetry. It's just a mini story, in the fewest words as possible, arranged in a specific way. This a mixture of "Whats the moral of the story" and epic myth like stories. Enjoy

A black sky, lightning flashes, thunder crashes.
The sound of swords and battle ring under the sound of the sky.
A man surrounded by hundreds, holding black lightning in his hand.
The ground, torn asunder.
Can you feel it?
A creepy smile on his face. Eyes, glowing faint yellow.
You stand there, ready for battle. Full of fear and anguish.
Face to face. Eye to eye.
Can you feel it?
Lightning strikes his hand once more.
Falling from the dark sky. Tearing all that surrounds.
Holding it with ease.
Can you feel it?
Can you hear it?
Can you see it?
"I am a Legend. You and I? We are different."
Evil smile, flashes like the lightning.
Knees weak, eyes blurry.
...Can you fight it...?

Comments:
Another words, can you fight your fears? face to face? Eye to eye...?

A man, with the fear of lightning, must battle a legend, which can use lightning as he pleases. Can he do it? Can you do it? Fight the fear.

Author's Note

This is not meant to be poetry. It's just a mini story, in the fewest words as possible, arranged in a specific way. This a mixture of "Whats the moral of the story" and epic myth like stories.

Reviews

[E.J. Stevens]

So vivid. I'm enjoying your Legend series and looking forward to more!

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Vincent,

Your imagery is stark and simple. It paint the mood of the piece quite nicely. And the messasge and challenge of the write is nice, too: "...Can you fight it...?"

Nicely done.

Best regards,

Rick

[SasukiMimochi]

>< eep. i'm kinda scared of lightning myself. This looks like a ballad poem. a poem that tells a story. i just learned about it in class. It's very well written

[Lorraine]

Definitely has a moral. This is the kind of piece I'm expecting from you. It's looks like a poem with the genre of science fiction. Oh, I love the fact that this piece has an underlying message. Aside from what was actually happening there in the story, you've also got another thing going on, and that's to make the readers pause and think. 'Can you fight your fears?' This is a question not everyone will surely like to answer. Fears are such burdens in life, but then again, if you face them with all the courage you've got, it'll make you stronger.

Keep Writing. ^___^