Never Coming Home

Based off the songs The Ghost Of You by My Chemical Romance and When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne. Also, the book is called "Lovely Fate"

I took the letter and triangularly folded flag out of the officer's hands numbly. How could this be possible? 

He grabbed my hands and placed them around his neck before lowering his to rest against the small of my back, smiling as we twirled joyfully in circles to the beat of the song. My body was pressed tightly against his as we moved gracefully across the large dance floor, his emerald green eyes searching my dark chocolate brown ones behind his shaggy, chin length black hair. 

Tears mixed with my black eyeliner rolled down my face like a river, only to fall on the ground and explode into tiny fragments of what it once was. I sniffed as I slowly opened the letter and began to read it, the letters in his beautiful, slanted, cursive handwriting that he thought must be the ugliest in the world, but I beg to differ. 

He pulled me closer to him as the song slowed down, and we stayed that way for almost an hour until the dance was over and we were sent home. We were only 16 years old. 

I could hear the officer speaking, but I couldn't hear the words. I could see his mouth moving when I looked up at him blankly, but I could not comprehend that he was speaking. I bit my bottom lip to hold back a scream. 

Once more, my 19 year old fiance reminded me why he had to go off to war, then he smiled and kissed me, promising that he would return in time to see our baby girl, our own little princess. Then, as if to prove his point, he kissed my stomach. In a final goodbye, he hugged me tightly and held me there for a moment, then, without another word, he let go and set off on the plane headed to Afghanistan. Or at least, I think it was Afghanistan... 

I hugged the flag close to my chest, as close as humanely possible, the letter squished between my chest and the flag, my head bent forward as I cried, letting the tears fall freely down my face. "He said that he would come back..." I thought. 

Author's Note

First off, this is dedicated to all those American Soldiers who fought and didn't make it home.
Now. OMG I SO LOVE THIS SO FREAKING MUCH AND ERMAHGERD I WANT TO MAKE THIS INTO A BOOK! I say that often, but I guess I just love what I write. :P But I don't know how many other people would like it... :/ I mean, I know one of my friends would love to read it, because she loves to read what I wrote. :3

Reviews

[beautiful dreamer]

humanly not humanely thats like total different word there. sorry babe if this is going to be published im proofreading since ive read it before lol. a couple other grammar things. i numbly took instead of tacking numbly at the end there on the first sentence. begged* you have he thought in past tense so therefore beg must be in past tense too. other than those few things its perfect and i'm so proud of you!

[Silent Wolf]

Lol hank you. :3

[beautiful dreamer]

welcome :)

[Silent Wolf]

Lol, yeah. The editors all loved it, one told me it made her cry. :3

[beautiful dreamer]

awe good :)

[Silent Wolf]

The book is called "Falling In Love."

[C. Rose]

Beg doesn't have to be past tense - the character still thinks his handwriting is beautiful. It might be helpful if the entirety of the non-italic was present tense to contrast from the past tense italic.

[NathanielAlexander]

I like this a lot, it's great how you managed to capture the moment of being told such grave news. It goes without saying that you've managed to incredibly describe and capture the emotion within your work. Very well done!

[Abby C]

I think this story was very beautiful. You explained everything in very good detail. I loved it very much. Keep writing :D

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

We have allowed brain thinking to develop and dominate our lives.
As a consequence, we are at war within ourselves.
The brain desiring things which the body does not want, and the body desiring things which the brain does not allow; the brain giving directions which the body will not follow, and the body giving impulses which the brain cannot.

I felt the loss and hopeful prayers that your love one will come back. Going to war is like going to the beach , you bring the sand home with you.

To cite a quote
" Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

You didn’t come into this world. You came out of it, like a wave from the ocean. You are not a stranger here. I firmly believe that and its true we are all born to work together like sets of feet, hands, eyes, and to cooperate with one another like upper and lower teeth. To obstruct each other is not just. We are meant to love and give it out freely. The world will be better off but not everybody believes in that cause some truths people don't follow or apply it . But poetry is what makes us human. The language of the soul. Keep writing and thanks for sharing.

Sincerely your friend in poetry and life.

[Hikaru]

THANS SO SADDDDD!!!!!!!!😭

[Hearm Jan]

Nice story, it reminds me of the song, 'The Ghost of you, by MCR'.

[??????]

I really loved this and yes please continue:)

[NerdintheHouse]

I love this story so much. My brother went into the military but got discharged because apparently you can't sleep walk.

[Silent Wolf]

Yeah, that'd be a good reason to be discharged... *hugs* but at least he's okay.

[Parker101]

this was good i like it very interesting XD

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

Oh okay first I'd like to point out couple of petty niggles. First Afghanistan,please capitalize it my brain is sad. The story was a bit confusing at first cause I,being a big dummy as i am, didn't understand that it's jumping from current events to retrospection now I'm not saying it's badly written just make some transition apart from different font. Ah now for the story itself. I honestly like it it's full of feelings and imagery. It made me tear up a bit, tho it might've been my cat digging his claws into my leg, and overall feel of it is nice. It would be hard to make this into a book,depends on when your events would start and stuff like that, but I do believe that you have potential.

[Silent Wolf]

I apologize, I didn't even realize it wasn't capitalized. Normally I capitalize places...
read moreI apologize, I didn't even realize it wasn't capitalized. Normally I capitalize places...

Thank you for reading and for the constructive criticism! I was trying to make it flow without saying "seven years ago, three years ago, four years ago..." and so on between each transition. I apologize for making it confusing.

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

Ehh no need to apologize things i point out are mostly things i notice could be improved or are grammatically incorrect,it's not a personal insult. When it comes to the transition thing I meant more like character going: While taking the letter with my right hand and flag with the left one,barely holding back my tears,pictures of that night appeared in my head. Y'know trying to tie it without breaking flow.

[Silent Wolf]

Ohhhhhh, that makes sense. :) Thank you!

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

No problem feel free to send me your works tho I'm an extremely busy lately I'll find time to read em and don't let this review discourage you from writing more. ^-^

[Silent Wolf]

Thank you. I don't normally send read requests as I don't receive them myself, and I don't want to be a hypocrite. However, a suggestion would be my "What's Depression Like" poem.

[Cody Jeremy Thompson]

Got that and yeah don't fret to send them.

[Scheherazade]

Wow, first of all you got my attention when you mentioned it's based off the song The Ghost of You by MCR (love them and still can't believe they're not making music anymore *sniffs and wipes tear*) but despite being short, it's raw and emotional and powerful. I thought it was well written. Job well done.

[Silent Wolf]

I agree. *sniffles and hands tissues* And thank you for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[Scheherazade]

You're very welcome. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go listen to some MCR so I can reminisce and mourn.

[Silent Wolf]

XD Go listen to Fake Your Death by them.

[Scheherazade]

Oh god, I remember when that song came out I got all happy because I thought oh yay, another song, that means they're not broken up right? It's all rumours. Turns out, nope, it's a new and LAST song. :'(