Grandma's Death

This is exactly what happened when my grandma died. This is me, when my grandmother died at 10:00 am, December 30th, 2012, at Swedish Medical center, Morison Colorado.

Little white flakes floated to the ground from above, frosting the surrounding land, slowly turning it white. 

And here I was, stuck inside this death trap, my eyes filled with tears, knowing that just a few minutes ago, my grandmother had taken her last fighting breath. The line on the monitor went straight, creating one long continuous beep, the breathing machine forcing air into a lifeless corpse. 

And here I was, unable to look at that lifeless corpse, unable to summon the courage to take one step past that sliding glass door into that tiny room where that lifeless corpse lay, waiting for me. I stood there, unable to say goodbye to the one person who truly understood me, who showed me how much they loved me. 

For the past month, it was as if my subconscious knew she was going to die, knew that my life was going to come to an abrupt stop soon. The signs were almost obvious. Almost, but not quite. She was getting weaker, her body growing tired as it began to slowly shut down, her mind slowly drifting away, coming closer to doom each and every single day. 

There was an emptiness in my heart, a feeling stronger than I've ever felt before, only because it had finally struck me that I could no longer see the one person I cared about more than anything, mixed with guilt for letting her die thinking I hated her and found her annoying, died crying over me, wondering where she went wrong, when she never did. It was me who went wrong. I was in a state of shock, not realizing that 24 hours ago was the last time I saw her alive, when she was being taken by ambulance to the hospital. Now there was just a 64 year old corpse in a tiny room with faded brown hair, hazel eyes, a new pair of red rimmed glasses sitting atop the bridge of her nose, and friends and family grieving over the loss of a beautiful, kind woman. 

My younger cousin sat in the reclining chair, looking at the corner, trying to hold back his tears, a bag of unopened Cheetos in his hand. My younger brother sat bawling in the couch next to the window, next to me, his head hung in his hands, his shoulders rising and falling with each noisy, annoying sob. For once, I didn't mind sitting next to him in that silent waiting room, quietly telling him that Grandma won't be hurting anymore, that she was up in Heaven, standing next to God, looking down on us and telling us she was alright. 

Author's Note

This is something that actually happened to me, and I need to finish writing it, but I don't want to cry so I'm holding back for a while. Just so you know, my younger brother is pretty rude, disgusting, sexist, and racist. He had multiple problems/ diseases, such as d'george syndrome, anger management, allergies, etc. Also, I was wondering if I should make this the start of a new story.

Reviews

[Patrick Henry]

I'm with Abbey. It's hard NOT to.... You make me miss my whole family who have died over the years and some of those were shamefully forgotten. You have written this in such great respect to how it is presented, understood, and if it were a story of fiction, we would all beg for chapter 2!! In the future when you call upon something written in your youth, look at what you have written, and HOW you have written about her. Put a flower in your hair or dab your neck one day with her favorite perfume and celebrate her life on the day she died!! My heart goes out to you... Thank You for sharing this. These kinds of stories/poems are not the easiest to share, ever. xoxo -Your Mark

[Silent Wolf]

Thanks man. But, I am actually just kind of putting a whole bunch of events together for a "chapter 2". This is going to be made into the book called "Pretending." I'm going to finish this before I start writing "chapter 2"

[Patrick Henry]

Oh!! This didn't really happen?! My heart still goes out to you. You are a beautiful writer. It feels unfair to not be able to find words, especially from someone "ME" who has too many all the time. lol xoxo -Mark

[Silent Wolf]

This did happen. ^_^ Lol. It's okay.

[Silent Wolf]

No, what I meant was that I'm living my life and writing the little things down so I can create a "chapter 2."

[Patrick Henry]

That's awesome... It's cool the very process that you recognize that will surely turn that mind and heart of yours into a writer we will someday read. Who knows... maybe, someday you will remember me from this site, and a coffee won't feel like one between "internet strangers". : )) xoxo -Mark

[Silent Wolf]

Lol cool man. ^_^

[Patrick Henry]

HOT coffee. Cool coffee is good for spilling in a pool to scare the crap out of swimmers!! lol Whoops. You mean... "That's cool!", huh? lol It would be cool. I'm shutting up while you are still on my friend list. BTW, the line where you write all these beautiful things about her in the story, but then write "corpse"?..... tough words!! lol It really grans at ya.... xoxo -Mark

[Silent Wolf]

Lol. Yeah, I mean that's cool. Lol. You're funny. Don't worry, I've tried that before. ^_^ Lol. Yeah, I try to use a lot of word choice, not just the same word over and over again...

[Patrick Henry]

Maybe, on a different story, Bone cage is one I like to use. I have written in some of my "mature" writes.... My bruised and battered bone cage. It wouldn't fit in something as dear and personal as what you have written here, but in the future, maybe check this link out.
http://www.bored.com/deathslang/

xoxo -Your Mark

[Silent Wolf]

Cool. Maybe in the near future. ^_^

[KittyKatgirl]

Naww I am so sorry about your grandma. I'm sure she knew you loved her, and always will. In fact the end of this story is 100% true and she is proud of you. My nanna died almost 7 years ago we were never really close but I wish we were. This is amazing and true from the heart and I'm sure the two of you are reunited when the time is right.

[Silent Wolf]

In all honesty, at the time actually still believed in God... I don't really believe in him anymore. I'd like to believe that there's Angels and stuff, but I couldn't tell you for sure if there were or not.

But thank you for your review. You are just sweeping through all my writing. XD

[KittyKatgirl]

Actually I don't either but I still say stuff like that.

[Silent Wolf]

*hugs* yay! Somebody who agrees with me on that! :)

[Bluefire]

This is really good. Very sad though, it made me want to cry.
I'm sorry about your grandma, I remember how it was like when my grandma died, though I didn't know her as well as you knew yours. I can imagine how it must feel and know that a loved one lost is a bullet wound to the heart that will never heal.
I found no fault in this. Well done.

[Silent Wolf]

Thank you so very much.

[Bluefire]

No problem. ^^

[DogDrawler]

Holy! That is amazing! Outstanding performance right there! I thought I was reading a real book!

Whoa. Now I see.
The only absolute mistake was that you said "corpse" a little too often.

[Silent Wolf]

Yeah, I was crying when I wrote this.

[MandaBear]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. :( I know how it feels to lose someone too. I lost my aunt Bev a while back she was a great lady. It is never easy loosing someone. Great respect for writing about something that is hard to deal with. Hugs

[Silent Wolf]

I'm so sorry for your loss. *hugs*

[Riding the Rainbow]

really touching piece and I wish I could hug you tight right now..those moments are really strong and painful..

[Silent Wolf]

Thanks. *hugs*

[Simona]

I can connect this.This was an amazing poem.

[Silent Wolf]

Well, it was a story, but I just have to add on to it, which I will do later on. But thanketh you. :3

[RainDancer1997]

OMG this was amazing:)! Please make it into a story! Its so emotional and so many people can connect to this. And its good that you're opening up through your writings:)

[Silent Wolf]

This is actually going to be in a book called "Pretending" idk if its still on here I may have accidentally deleted it. (Do that a lot on here)

[RainDancer1997]

Good:) I'm looking forward to it

[Silent Wolf]

:)

[Westminster Abbey]

Very emotional. This is what I do when i go through a hard time as well. Emotional writing is the truest, purest, and most beautiful writing of all. Keep it up, and I'm sorry for your loss. My uncle died a few months ago, leaving my cousins (8 and 10) without a father. He was only 42.

100/100
~Abbey
:)

[Silent Wolf]

Sorry for your loss as well.

[Wolfwind]

Loosing a loved one is never easy. Especially hard when its someone that was closer than most. Yet, we continue with our own lives, putting one foot infront of the other because we know that those who've gone before us still watch over us. It's knowing that which gives us strength.

Aaron