Merlin & The Mad #4

MERLIN & THE MAD #4

By

Michael A. Wolf

 

 

            The office was cold.  Merlin liked it that way.  He’d rarely used the furnace, and the window, securely barred, was forever left open just a crack.  The wizard said it kept him on his toes to always be a little chilly.  The Mad didn’t seem to care one way or the other, and displayed a small candle on his desk to make a good Bob Cratchit showing now and then.  They entered the office and found Archimedes waiting for them on his secondary perch.

            “How did you get here?” Merlin asked.

            “Taxi.” The owl answered sarcastically.  “How do you think?”  Then he extended his wings in a gesture of avian superiority.  After all, he could indeed take to the skies, unlike the wizard and his be-hatted friend.  Then one creepy head turn and back to sitting amazingly still and blinking eyes in odd sequence.

            “I assume you’re here for a reason.” The wizard said, closing the office door and walking to his desk.  He took a seat and began searching for something.

            “Hello, Jub.” The Mad said.

            “Oh, no,” Archie began, “No trouble at all getting in.  I just used my opposable thumbs to grip the window and fling it open.  Thanks for asking…idiots!”

            “You are so very welcome, miss.” The Hatter said and bowed to him.

            “Archie,” Merlin said, “I am sorry you had a difficult time.  But please tell me why you’ve come to the office.”

The owl flew to the back of the small, leather sofa in the corner and positioned himself so that he could face both men.  A few stray feathers dropped to the floor and couch cushions before disappearing in little puffs of smoke.  Merlin stopped his search and faced the obviously perturbed bird, as The Mad snatched a scarf from the coat rack and wrapped it around his neck.

“After you left, there was a phone call.  A man named Harrison Cilo wants you to call him as soon as possible.”

“What about?” Merlin asked.

“Oysters, perhaps?” The Hatter asked.

“See?” Archie responded.  “That’s the thing about madness.  It sometimes manifests itself as stupidity.”  He glared at The Hatter.  “Try to not speak.”  Then he turned toward Merlin.  “He didn’t say why he needed you to call, but he left this number: 555-4471.”  The owl made the bird-quivalent of a rude gesture at The Mad and then returned to his perch.  “Now, open the window so I can go home.”

“What’s the magic word?” The Mad prompted.

“Would you like to hear a truly magic word, you nutter?” was Archie’s non-veiled threat.

“Here you go.” Merlin said, standing and throwing the window fully open.  Archimedes took flight and sailed noiselessly out over the city streets.  Merlin closed the pane once more and locked it.

“Not sporting.” The Hatter said.  “And it reminds me that I too should make a call.”

“To whom?” The wizard asked.

“Not to whom,” The Mad corrected.  “To me.  The phone is going to ring.”  And so it did. 

Merlin would have been shocked by this turn of events had he not encountered it on a number of previous occasions.  The Hatter had the uncanny ability to know with one hundred percent accuracy just when a phone was going to ring.  The wizard tried over the years to both understand and duplicate the feat, but with no more success than his attempts to send The Mad back to Wonderland.  However, although he could now mask the surprise, Merlin still marveled at The Hatter’s bizarre and unsettling talent.

“I’ll get it.” The wizard said, reaching for the receiver.  “Merlin and Hatter.  How may I help you?”

“With a better…” And The Mad froze in mid-sentence; but just for a moment, and then said, “The rider.”

“Yes,” Merlin said, “He’s right here.” He handed the phone to The Hatter.  “It’s for you.  A woman, named Kaye.”

The Mad took the receiver and sat at Merlin’s desk.  “Before I speak with you,” he said into the phone, “Answer a question.  How did you get this number?”  He was silent, listening and quite out of character.  Then he responded, “Oh, so that’s what those cards are for.”

Merlin shook his head in frustration and wondered just how much of The Hatter’s banter was an act.  After considering for a few moments, he decided that almost none of it was and took a seat at The Mad’s desk.  The Hatter continued speaking with Kaye for some time and then hung up the phone.  He looked up and smiled at his friend.

“The young lady you met at Herkus’ estate?” The wizard asked.

“Eavesdropping is a sin.” The Mad said, putting his feet up on Merlin’s desk.  Then he stood, crawled up and over the wizard’s workspace and stood in front of him.  “I must away, dear sorcerer.  The fair Kaye has asked me to meet her for an early sup.”

“Does this have to do with the Herkus haunting case?”

“Call Mr. Cilo.”  The Mad said.  “I am off to make ready.”  He walked to the door and left the office.

“Wish I’d written that number down when Archie told me.” The wizard said, closing his eyes.

 

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