Merlin & The Mad #1

The first part of an ongoing series of stories about a wizard and his unhinged friend. Plus, there's a talking owl!

MERLIN & THE MAD: #1

By

Michael A. Wolf

 

It was a stupid mistake, and Merlin dropped backward on the bed, his head in his hands.   He was exhausted, embarrassed and enraged.

“Can’t think of any more ‘e’ words?”  Archie asked.  It was the owl’s way of making the wizard feel like s**t, and it worked beautifully.

“Shut your cracker hole, Archimedes.”  Merlin responded.

“Parrots eat crackers, git.”  Archie said.  “Mice hole would have been more accurate.”

“You’re asking to get turned into a shoe.”  The wizard said as he sat up on the bed.  “I am not in the mood today.”  He walked to his small, yet horrendous and unkempt kitchen and began the process of making coffee.  It calmed him.  He would say a quiet mind is a happy mind, but knew it to not be true.  And with today’s screw-up, a quiet mind was far very away.

“He’ll be here, you know.” Archie said, and then did the ‘turning his head all the way ‘round’ thing that Merlin hated.  “And why don’t you have an accent?”

“Everyone has an accent.”  Merlin said.  He poured grounds into the filter and water into the reservoir.  “I know he’s on his way.  Why do you think I’m so flustered?”

“Terrible wizard.  Just terrible.”  Archie closed his eyes one at a time.  There were days, long ago, when the owl was an ally.  He’d been by the side of the Merlin since the beginning of time.  Well, any time that was important to measure for the matter.  Other times and places did not concern either bird or conjurer, so they needn’t get mentioned here.  By now, however, the winged rodent-eater was more of a nag and reminder of better days than a true companion.  For actual company and support, this Merlin turned to…

“The Mad.”  Archie shrieked at the sound of the doorbell.  “Let The Mad in!”

“It’s open!” Merlin called out as the first thick wisps of coffee steam filled the room.

The front door was breached in the most odd of ways; with two turns of the knob, and then a slow push of the wooden construct that revealed only hallway light at first, then the upper edge of a tip-top top hat; black in felt with a red band that showed itself as slowly as the rest.  The Mad had indeed arrived.

“Step all the way in, Hatter.” Merlin said, not turning.  “I know it’s you.”

“Oh, but you don’t.”  The Hatter entered.  He closed the door behind him.   Merlin faced his friend and offered him a mug of coffee.

“No, thank so.”  Said The Hatter.  “Tea, please?”

“I don’t have any tea, and you know it.”

“And you call yourself an Englishman.”

“I do no such thing.” Merlin said.  “I was born in Los Angeles.”

“Madness.” Hatter countered.  “A wizard born in America.”  He walked his ‘taller-than-Merlin’ self to the dining table and took a seat.  “How did you assist King Arthur from such a place?”

“Stop this game.” Merlin said.

“How, how, how?”  Archie mimicked.

“You both know that Merlin is a family name.  Long line of wizards and all.”

“Which brings me to my next query.” The Hatter said, leaning forward on his elbows.  He reached up and tipped his hat back on his head, letting loose one curly, brown lock of hair.  “How goes my, um, spell?”

Merlin took a deep breath and sat with his friend at the table, a cup of hot coffee in his hand.  He looked at The Mad quite a long time before speaking.

“I’m sorry.” He finally said.  “I can’t send you back.”

“What went wrong this time?”

“Yes, tell him.” Archie prompted.

“Stay out of this!” Merlin told the bird.  “It’s the same problem as all of the other times, Hatter.  I’ve tried to tell you.”

The Hatter stood abruptly and pushed his chair away from the table.  He was obviously angry and frustrated.  Merlin watched as the long coat swept back and forth with his friend’s frenetic movements.  He was muttering something the wizard couldn’t quite make out just before he turned and said,  “I cannot believe, will not believe that Wonderland does not exist.”  He was red-faced and clearly challenged.  “That is where I was born.  My home.  My reality.”

“I understand, but…” Merlin began.

“It must be reachable.  You’ve found so many other realms; so many other places.”  He paused, looked defeated, and his voice softened.  “I just want to go home.”  There were tears in his eyes as he said this; tears that Merlin had witnessed countless times.  His dear friend was convinced that he was indeed the maddest of the mad, the one and only Hatter.  And when he arrived on the doorstep of the modern-day Merlin seven years earlier, the wizard had no reason to doubt the story.  After all, as a Merlin he’d seen and experienced far stranger things.  Dragons were nothing; faeries and ghosts and chimps in waistcoats commonplace.  So, why not The Mad Hatter?  Why not a clearly insane person; clever as any ten clevers, who wore a top hat and frock jacket?  He spoke of Wonderland as precisely as Merlin did his own city, and he came to the wizard with only one request:  Help him return home.  Between attempts at sending The Hatter back to Alice and the others, the wizard and The Mad (as Archie had come to call him) worked together; combining their unique skills to help people solve problems that fell beneath or beyond the reach of conventional sources.  Needless to say, there wasn’t a lot of money in it.

“We’ll keep trying.”  Merlin stood and placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder.  “I promise you that.”

The Hatter perked, as though he’d not been crying at all and stepped back.  “What’s on the agenda today, good wizard?”  He adjusted his top hat.  “Whom are we helping, and with which?”

“A man named Herkus.” Merlin said after a pause.

“From the circus?” Hatter asked.  He stood too close for his friend’s complete comfort and breathed a breath of cherries and Spring.  He looked as if he truly hoped the circus would come into play.

“I don’t think so.” Merlin said.  “Come on.  I’ll tell you all about it in the car.”

 

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Reviews

[Rebecca]

Just clicked on this out of curiosity from the title, and I am glad I did. I really enjoyed the story, and am certainly looking forward to reading more of the story and more from you. Your writing style is quite enjoyable and the characters are very distinct and have their own individual personalites, and I really like that. Keep up the good work, will def. keep coming back for the next installments of this series!
-Rebecca