Not Crazy, Nope! And the Evil Dryersocks!

Jenn and Ifer work together to battle first their fathers worries and then to rid the town of one of it's most notorious monsters.

            Jennifer was turning the door knob of the front door to her families home, when her father called out to her, “Jenny! Can I talk to you for a moment?”

            The teenager cringed at the sound of that warped version of her name. “Uh, sure Dad.” Spinning around, she shuffled back into the living room where her father was sitting on the couch, with a ‘we need to talk’ look on his face.

            ‘Oh great,’ Jenn’s consciousness mumbled, ‘Another one of those talks.’

            ‘You’ll do just fine Jenn,’ Ifer whispered from the other half of Jennifer’s consciousness.

            Sitting down on the far side of the couch, Jennifer kicked off her shoes and sat Indian style. With a blank, expressionless stare she spoke to her father, “So what did you want to talk about dad?”

            The man sitting on the couch, clasped his hands together, kind of wringing them out, and looked over at his daughter. “Well, mother and I are a bit concerned. You’re brother came to us and said he’s been hearing you talk to yourself allot again lately.”

            ‘I’m gonna kill him!’ Jenn’s mind screamed.

            ‘Calm, Jenn, calm.’ Ifer soothed.

            “Well, we were just wondering if you might be under some added stress at school, with all the strange things going on over there.” Her father smiled, as Jenn simply stared back.

            ‘No stress dad…none at all. Just a bunch of idiots and evil villains running around trying to destroy the minds and devour the souls of the other kids, no nothing’s stressing me out at all.’ Jenn’s inner voice spoke as if her teeth were clenching through re-bar.

            “No, Dad. Everything is fine at school. In fact all the crazy stuff is kinda cool.” Jennifer responded, forcing a smile on her face.

            Her father rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger in thought and then turned. “We just want to know our little Jenny is okay?” He smiled, “We’re just concerned. The next door neighbor told us he saw you yelling into thin air last week. Mother and I were wondering if you’d like us to call Ms. Dorkinmindsee in for a visit.”

            Jennifer sat calmly listening to her father speak. Jenn’s mind was fuming, causing her fist to ball up. ‘They are not going to have me talk to that mindless puke of a cow humping psychologist again!’

            Ifer forced her mind to take over their balled up fist so it wouldn’t burn a hole in the couch. ‘Jenn, do you want me to take the lead?’

            ‘YES, before I do something bad!’

 

            Jennifer’s father waited patiently for his daughter to say something. He relaxed a bit when she smiled.

            Ifer slid over, laying her head on her father shoulder, “Dad, you don’t need to worry. Mr. Blake, the neighbor didn’t know what I was doing. My social science teacher asked us all to look deep into our selves and shout about what ever was though was wrong in the world today and then analyze our feelings about it and write them down. I was doing it out on the street, because mom was napping that day.”

            Jennifer looked up smiling into her fathers eyes, “I love you dad. I appreciate how much you do for me and that you’re concerned. But I’m fine.”

            Her father smiled and wrapped his arms around Jennifer, “Okay Jenny, I’m glad you’re doing okay. If there’s anything wrong, just remember you can come and talk to us.”

            “Sure thing Father.”

            Jenn’s consciousness felt like retching at Ifer’s thick cuteness that had just come out. She could hear Ifer giggling in the foreground of their mind.

            Jennifer gave her father one last hug and quickly headed out of the house.

            SPLOP! Ifer separated from Jenn as they walked down the street.

            “I can’t believe you!” Jenn said, putting a finger in her mouth like she wanted to gag.

            Ifer laughed, “Well, we needed to get out of the house and what can I say, I know how to work Dad!”

           

            The two had gone a few blocks from the house and were about to turn into the city park to go swing when they stopped. Both saw a line of floating socks drifting from the back of Marcie Bownee’s house, disappearing behind a large grove of trees.

            “Do you think?” Jenn whispered.

            “It’s got to be him, Dryersocks!”

            “It would make sense, it’s Sunday and everyone’s at church, a perfect time to go in and feed.”

            Jenn tapped Ifer on the shoulder and pointed, “You take the left and I’ll take the right. We’ll cut him off on the other side of the center hedge row.”

            “Right!” Ifer acknowledged.

            Both girls sprinted down the sidewalk and then split, running their part of the plan. As they neared the center hedge row, they could hear the whirring sound, an eerie noise made by none other than the evil Dryersocks himself. Jenn was the first to round the hedge, “Stop right there Dryersocks!”

            Ifer ran to block the mutated human clothes dryer’s escape. “You’re not going to get away from us this time!” She shouted as the monster stopped chewing on a sock and glared upward.

            “Duality!” He growled, immediately sending a stream of super heated liquid lint towards Jenn. “Die!”

            Jenn dodged to the right as a tree down stream splintered with a giant BOOM! The tree’s top crashing down.

             Ifer shouted to her other half, “I’m gonna go for his off switch! Distract him!”

            Jenn swooped into the air, “It’s gonna take more than leftovers to take me out you freak,” Sending a series of lightning bolts towards the fiend. Crack! Crack! Crack!

            Dryersocks internal parts spun faster as he dodged the first two while jumping but the third hit him. “Aaargh!” He’s metallic white and black frame knocked up against a tree trunk.

            Ifer dove down from where she had drifted up to a high branch, zipping to the left and away with a squeal as the mutant saw her and lashed out with his long spiked tongue, which was still covered in sock threads.

            “Don’t stick your tongue out at me!” Ifer shouted as she flew back towards Dryersocks and grabbed hold of the base of the monsters waggling tongue. “Hurry Jenn!” She shouted at her other half, who was there in a flash, hitting the off switch.

            Dryersocks let out a throaty gurgle as his insides stopped spinning.

            Jenn looked up at Ifer as she grabbed hold of the creature’s short and blocky feet. “We’ve got to destroy him for good this time.”

            Ifer nodded, “Let’s take him to the compactor at Danny’s auto wrecking yard. No one will be there today.”

            “Right! Let’s finish this.”

            Ifer and Jenn lifted the monstrosity into the air by feet and tongue and flew through the cover of the trees to where the wrecking yard was a few miles down the narrow lane.

            Beep Beep Beep.

            Ifer looked down at the creature and then shot Jenn a glance. “Quick! He had a self destruct function and it just went active!”

            Dumping the body of the sock eating villain into the compactor, Jenn ran to the controls and pressed the crush button. With a whire and a grinding noise the lid began to close down.

            “We should probable get out of here now.” Ifer spoke standing next to Jenn.

            “Good idea.”

            Both girls sprinted through the rows of stack cars as fast as they could.

            BOOM!

            Both Jenn and Ifer were flung to the ground as the explosion tossed them as well as burning micro fiber threads of millions of socks.

            The girls picked themselves up off the ground, dusting themselves off and turned to look at where the compactor once stood, now only bent and contorted flaps of metal.

            “That’s gonna bring the cops.” Jenn nodded knowingly.

            “At least Dryersocks is dead.” Ifer spoke smiling proudly, her hands at her hips.

 

            They could already hear sirens in the distance, getting closer.

            “Time to go,” Jenn grabbed Ifer’s shoulder. Both slipped out the through the broken chain link fence in the back and then flew up to sit invisibly on a large oak tree branch.

            As they watched a fire truck and several city cops pull into the wrecking yard, the girls glanced at each other and smiled and laughed “Another day, saving the city from them selves.”

Reviews

[Admiral Kirk]

EPICNESS!!! Dude, mindless puke of a cow humping psychologist? That has to be the best insult ever!!! :D This is so awesome, it sounds like the inside of my brain... like you've been there or something... o.o And the character names are AWESOME!!! This has to be the best book I've ever read!!! I can't thank you enough for writing this!!! :D :D :D I was laughing the whole time!!! IT'S HILARSOMETASTICAL!!! :D YAAAY!!!

[Wolfwind]

Cool! :D I had come up with the Dryersocks idea a few days ago and had started it, but I didn't like the feel of it so I sat down and just started over and this was what came out. I felt that I needed to have a scene play out with a parent so it would give the readers the idea that the character has parental issues like all teenagers, a way to relate. =)

[Admiral Kirk]

Ooh, yeah! It was awesome! You have the best ideas...

[Galaxy Blythe]

This book is hilarious!!

[Wolfwind]

Thank you! =)