Odd Muse

You tell me... ;)

Blank expressions and opulent oysters

The edge of a dare, a knife with butter

A night unspoken into mashed potatoes

A heart broken and bare chilled in the freezer

 

Atop a bluff of blue, berries began to sour

Thoughts, twisting and turning, never any power

Everything that was you, in a grasping breath

Lit a flame and did burn, painfully slow

 

Then a turn, a dance in fates charm

The closing of eyes will come in an empty grave

From a ledge of spurn, opaque thoughts shall quit

Toppling down I shall come, last rights forgotten

 

The waves shall be quick

The rocks hard and sharp

My soul a broken stick

Upon that demons harp

 

Nothing but a sturgeon’s dinner tonight

A muse while drinking a Sprite

Watching the ever flowing waves

Of idiots, fools and knaves

Reviews

[Admiral Kirk]

Oh yes, I can tell you...

The first stanza is interesting. It almost appears as though you've smushed two poems together. One being, "blank expressions; the edge of a dare; a night unspoken; a heart broken and bare" and the other being, "opulent oysters; a knife in butter; mashed potatoes; chilled in the freezer". So the first one sounds really deep and stuff, but the second seems to be a bit of a comedic poem... Maybe not comedic, but random and totally off topic. And together... Strange... In a good way...

Ah, I see in the second stanza that this person is trapped in their thoughts, and perhaps trying to be someone that they're not, burning themselves from within.

Well the third stanza is just plain confusing... I like it... Ha, 'a dance in fates charm'... what pretty words. Ah, I see! The speaker is being buried in a graveyard! It's a bit sad, actually... The thoughts just quitting... last rights forgotten... *sob*

WHOA! This fourth stanza interests me immensely... Not sure why, actually. Pretty cool. I'm thinking it describes the cruelty of death. Very cruel. And the demon playing you to his music... evil music... *shiver*

Heh, I like the closing... Nice... Anyway, that's my bizarre take on your poem. Sorry that it's so long again... I get carried away....

[Wolfwind]

:) I enjoy you getting carried away! I enjoy your reactions to each stanza. This was a piece that just kinda pooped out one night and I'm not sure what I was thinking about. I think it started with the purpose of being just and insane ramble, but actually got a direction at some point. The last stanza is my favorite to. I was trying to make it seem like everything before was a musing that took place while drinking a sprite. lol Thank you very much! =)

[Admiral Kirk]

Haha, cool. :) Pooping poetry again... Unless that's a typo... Haha, it was a beautiful insane ramble. Lol, you're quite welcome. :)

[Winter Red Tears]

The title fits this piece beautifully, it is indeed odd, but not in any bad way! In fact it makes it all more ... amazing, the way some words fit together with other words you really wouldn't expect to mash together. By the way, the Oysters at the top was beautiful.

[Wolfwind]

Thanks! I've always found that Oysters make for great poems! lol

[Eloha]

Gosh this made me scared, bravo! I like the chillling effect, you are very talented.

[Wolfwind]

Thanks for taking the time to read! =)

[Eloha]

Anytime, wolfy!

[afra]

beautiful and deep ...good job