To feel a Treasure

Sitting

Shifting through thoughts

Like a breeze sifts through the sand

It was an infection

That would play in a reflection

One thought drifting through the mind

 

Standing

Watching the ceaseless waves

Like a glass catching the glimmer of pieces

It was an indication

Bringing to life a motivation

Of an action with no bends or creases

 

Walking

Attacking hesitation with no quarter

Like an arrow which knows only it’s mark

It was a dedication

Bonding with the soul and the flesh

Which knew the song and carried the spark

 

Running

Blurring past any aged shards of doubt

Like race car wheels spinning upon the ground

It was a validation

Weaving through the knowledge held sacred

Continuing to keep joy’s sensation coming around

Reviews

[Meliss@k]

Right as I read the first stanza and then realized the pattern of "sitting,standing,walking,running" I literally said "Mmmh.. :)" out loud with appreciation and enjoyment through the anticipation of what wonderful poetry was to still come.
Great poem. Made me feel "free" as I went through the journey of being tied down (sitting) to finally being set free (running).

[Admiral Kirk]

Normally, strictly formed poems sort of bother me, but this strict form is so beautiful that it can't possibly bother me. I like the verb at the beginning of each stanza. Sitting, standing, walking, running. Ah, so they tell their own little story! Intriguing! This is a very beautiful poem. I'm not great at detecting theme, do naturally I can't exactly give an accurate interpretation, but I will try...

I did notice that the first verb tells exactly what the stanza will be describing. That is very handy for bad interpreters, and it creates a lovely effect as well. I just reread the title, and now I'm really not sure... Is the treasure... a thought? A feeling? The poem appears to be describing some sort of sudden feeling that the person takes action on by standing up and running away; metaphorically perhaps... The stanzas very accurately describe the verb at the start of them, and are a joy to read. I have never seen them described in such a way, it is very refreshing. In fact, I've never seen them described at all. To us, they're just words. But you have brought out the ordinary and made it interesting! That is what your poem means! (Actually, that's just my excuse for not coming up with an interpretation.) This is a wonderfully fantastically amazingly awesomely immensely good poem. Good work!

OH WAIT! IS THE TREASURE THE ACTION OF RUNNING ITSELF? Yeah, probably not... Never mind.

[Wolfwind]

Thanks for a great review! I like it when people take the time to really look deeply into my ink. When I wrote this, the treasure was simply a thought.... but it was the kind of special thought that inspires a smile to come to life upon one's lips... That what the 4th and 5th line were referring to. A smile that was infectious and would play upon the reflection.

[Admiral Kirk]

No problem, I enjoyed it. And thanks for explaining it to me. :)

[Shy Girl]

Rest and relaxation of the mind and soul has done a wonderful job for you it would seem. I keep coming back to one thought...like there is one thought that was picked out...but had the longest journey to travel until it was plucked from the many...brought forth...shown the pathway...tripped through the wind...till it became the one thought that sustained...became all to one that wonders... wanders...loves...feels...then expresses. I just keep seeing one thought that bridges all...but is sacred to one. That's just what I saw when I read this inspiring work you have made. (I love the ocean...oh and love the picture too ;)

[Wolfwind]

Thanks Shy! =) I was sitting with my eyes closed, thinking about someone who was watching the water with a smile. Then poof! This came out.

[Shy Girl]

WIsh I could poof out that kind of intensity...with an elegence that can only be yours. :)

[Jazmen]

This is beautiful in every way. I love the message itself the most.. but the structure of it. Sitting. Standing. Walking. Running. And you stated so much in between each title, of sorts.

"Shifting through thoughts
Like a breeze sifts through the sand"
I REALLY LOVE THIS. It's so beautifully articulated with your words here. There's so many grains of sand the reader imagines and the use of the word "breeze" makes it sound like the Poet is in a state of deep thought, thinking slowly, but of course surrounded by all the sand on the beach... so many contemplations, a meditation, perhaps.. it's very visual.
"Running
Blurring past any aged shards of doubt
Like race car wheels spinning upon the ground
It was a validation
Weaving through the knowledge held sacred
Continuing to keep joy’s sensation coming around"

Perfected in your own style of the happiness found in enlightenment... Or a well-understanding at least. The rhythm is awesome, and the words rhyme very well.
I loved this a lot. I must read more.

[Wolfwind]

Thanks! =) I appreciate where your gaze and mind took your review. It's very uplifting.

[Pi Cee]

A balance of observation and action. Nice ink. ;)