Promise Me

I seek to find my place amongst the white space between the letters you write. To be that first raindrop to touch your face, to say hello and enjoy the warmth of your essence before the rest come and I get washed out.

Time always passes quickly, but what is this passage compared to the unfathomable amounts of details that make our moments so memorable. They burn themselves in and the light up like fireflies when i close my eyes to the world.

Yet it’s those shadows, the us that should’ve been, floating in the fog we let creep in that harms me the most. They are tied to my own and I cannot outrun them, only hide in the darkest recesses of my self where they have no light to dance around.

I wonder why I can never let myself out of the cage that I’ve built with your smile. To loosen myself from the ropes woven from you gentle voice and unshackle myself from a touch that zaps my strength.

                         I’m scared...

  I’m weary...

                   I’m tired...

                                 I’m addicted...

I used to give you all my life’s colors to help you paint your world. Now I can paint not much more than storms and wintery deserts. Yet even these I’d give you.

     I’m exhausted...

                           I’m worn out...

         I’ve lost inspiration...

                                       Its what I am...

I’d give the ashes of my dried out bones if I knew they would be of use. A broken shoulder as a crutch. A pin cushion from your wrath, woeful frustrations, heated cries and burning rage.

Just… when you’re finally done with me, when I’m all spent and broke, broken and unmade, with my body crumpled and my face heavily breathing in the bloody mud of my own demise. Before you turn around to walk away for the last time and leave me alone for good.

Promise me

                                       You’ll tell me I’ll be okay.