The Bowels of Hell

An older one of mine where I tried to play with a religion based style. Give me your thoughts.

Revolting demons dwell,
In the bowels of Hell.

The angel who once fell,
Out of grace now rules,
In the bowels of Hell.

Such an awful smell,
It reeks of burning flesh,
In the bowels of Hell.

Dreaming of a icy well,
Is common of the souls,
In the bowels of Hell.

A cruel and fiery spell,
Controls the bowels of Hell.

 

Reviews

[Jeff]

This poem reminds me of The Divine Comedy. It almost hand a "sing-song" feel to it, I think. I've also read some of your other poems and noticed that you have a distinct style to your writing. I thought your poems were cool in the way it repeats the titles. You definately can't walk away and ask ''what was the title of that poem?" Haha. Your poems were great.

[quill of shadows]

i like this its fgot a great bace i know how dificult it can be to find words that make sence and fit the rhyme sceem but try using moor joosy words for example instead of burning scorching instead of ice frigid or awful horid keep up the great work and stay in touch ur verry heklfull to me and my pogretion as a writer

[LindseyD]

i agree with kewlbluetiger; the imagery is fantastic, in that great, creepy way. you may want to use stronger adjectives. for example, you could use a different word for 'awful,' to make a stronger impact.
great work! =]

oh, btw, thank you for taking the time to read my stuff =]

[kewlbluetiger]

Pretty straight forward approach with really dark imagery, which is obviously appropriate for a poem with this theme. Almost half of the lines in the poem are "In the bowels of hell" which has it's own maddening beat of repetition. If this is the effect you were going for that cool- But you might think of losing those lines and shortening the whole thing up for a quicker harsh punch.

Overall great write. I love religious themed work. Working on some myself!