Amaterasu

A simple plant drew two together
Exchanges sparked conversations
He fell for her
She sought salvation

He
He wore black armor
The reflection off his soul gleaming off cold metal
Through gaps and vulnerabilities was raw flesh
Mauled and bruised

She
She garnered no armor
An aura of fire surged about her
A beauty challenging that of Helen
Dangerous in every sense

A goddess before him, she danced
Her flame burning brighter and brighter
The knight was cool in the shade of great armor
The two ran together; making love, slaying demons
Burning churches, torching innocents

In a past life, a child was sacrificed
In ritual to disturb spirits of fire
Rituals pleasing evils known by many mortals
Now, the Sun Goddess jokes and laughs
Leaving a path of smoldering, black ash

Basking in a fiery ball of passion
The duo holds each other
Until love ignites

A ball of flame unfolds from their hearts
A shallow shield cracks in two
Hell fires licked the skin of the lover
And left scars down to his heart

A once brilliant flame, lies smoldering in the rubble
The young knight drags himself beside Her
Rubies burning in ash and soil run through his fingers
Their soft glow fades to black

He weeps tears of lava
The goddess infected him
Filling his mortal body
With Her essence
Under the weight of losing Her
Under the weight of great misadventure
He decayed while a crimson spear burst from his heart

Through beams of red a flame is reborn
And from the torso of a black corpse
Rises a goddess of hate and corruption
Scorching the face of the Earth once more

Author's Note

I'm mostly concerned about grammar and tense issues you find. Thank you.

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

Kinda reminds me of old Greek poetry; like a Homer styled epic but modernized and of a lessor scope (that s**t is all too long anyway). Personifying deities in a poetic fashion almost always interests me; no one writes like that on the regular anymore. I did enjoy reading this... I feel compelled to read it again as I'm sure I missed a few things. Well done. (you should be less concerned about grammar than you seem to be... as long as it isn't an egregious misspelling, write as you like. you don't use periods or commas when you write poetry I've noticed... that's a good thing((I think))

[poetgurl]

I am not good at grammar and tense stuff I've an editor usually that does my picking but not on here.
But I did enjoy your write. I felt a lot energy in it and action. nicely done.

[Andromeda.]

This is terrifyingly personal to me........ My soul is touched in a way I can't convey right now. I can't even finish the poem because I want to cry. I will have to come back to it when I am more stable... I want to wish you a happy new year, from my heart to yours. You deserve it, truly. Thank you for this gift of a poem. It is very precious to me... -L

[Wolf Towne]

Thank you so much, I am moved that my writing has stirred so much emotion within you. A happy new year to you too.