Me resucue me

just read it-

I feel as if i'm lost,

inside your shallows.

it's like im secluded,

inside your hollows.

Nothings ever a sure bet

time is something never to regret.

reality is too much to swallow,

I'm watching everyone's sorrows.

We're just pieces of a plan

somewhere in a far away land.

I'm waiting for me to rescue me.

 

I'm so cold,

I have no sleeves.

just get away from me.

I wish away all dreams.

You're the hourglass I'm the sand

There's something about nothing'

a feelinf unexplained.

Pain is a prize,

Death is escape,

I'm waiting for me to rescue me.

Reviews

[Perfume]

Really interesting concept. 'Me rescue me.'
That's something we all need to come to terms with. We are our own saviors, or at least we can be.
This was a really nice poem. You interact prose with an almost sort of cuteness, that makes the vibe very retro.

[JenLyn]

Loved it! Sometimes you're really the only person you can count on and before you can save others you have to save yourself. It flowed very well and the rhyme was nice and not forced only thing I see wrong is a typo "a feelinf unexplained" I know you meant feeling but just thought I would point it out to you. Oh and although I loved the entire piece I think I like the beginning a bit better especially the lines,

Nothings ever a sure bet

time is something never to regret.

reality is too much to swallow,

I'm watching everyone's sorrows.

Great write, keep it up! :)

[The Lost Soul]

Paulina, your such a good writer. Poetry is not your strong point though. Maybe submit some of your short stories. I do believe that your audience would enjoy them as well.

[Poeticpiers]

I'm waiting foe me to rescue me That repeated line caught my attention.I think once you accept that your fate is your own hands you are making progress