Way of Lyalltines

If there is any major writing errors, such as grammar or wording that I missed, feel free to point it out though I would prefer specific over vague tips.
I'll accept just about anything as long as it's constructive. I suppose I'll accept simple praise as well as that's always nice.
I don't know if I'll be focusing entirely on this or another, but I do intend to finish this eventually even if I do end up working on other projects first.