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My problems at home: conservative family and my happiess

What does it mean when I take a shower so no one can hear me cry?

What does it mean when I have to throw a smile everyday and lie?

I'm tired of being sad.

I'm tired of being mad.

Please stop making me be fake

Just for your own damned sake.

I know what's written in the "good book"

I don't go a day without giving it a look

I've had enough

This needs to end.

Everyday I pray for death

Everyday I pray for her warmth.

This messae you're trying to send

Is hard to comprehend.

The love you speak to me isn't true

Everytime I hear you say, "We love you"

I know its a lie

And it only makes me cry

But will you at least open your heart and one eye

So that you can see the key

To making me happy?

Her name starts with an "A"

That's all I have to say.