Refuse to Drown

When every thing is wrong your always right there.
You never last long it doesn’t seem fair.
Easily obtained in a brown paper bag.
You're the only friend I ever had.

The weight of the world comes crashing down.
and into this bottle I begin to drown.
To hide the past, the guilt and the shame,
masking the truth and numbing the pain.

On my marble counter I add you to my collection.
Quickly fill my glass but set back by a distorted reflection.
With in the ripples a glimpse of the past
of the childhood I never quite had.

The first few made my mom laugh and put on a smile
unfortunately for me it only lasted a while.
Laughs faded into hatred and anger
I looked into the bloodshot eyes of a stranger.

She drowned her sorrows
Inflicted pain on an innocent soul
The places that she left me
The things I shouldn’t know.

Echoes from the past the things she would say.
I carry them with me until this very day.
Lasting effects from the damage
left behind by the touch from unloving hands.

Continue a viscous cycle learned from your life lessons
Stares back at me from this distorted reflection.
Looked for a mother never could find her
but in her foot steps, I follow behind her.

My son cries out from in his room
I’ll be better for him. I won't be like you.
I choke back the tears as the come rolling down
but into this bottle I refuse to drown.