To My Four-Year-Old Self

To my Four-Year-Old Self.

 

To my four-year-old self,

Sometimes you might think back and everything seems black.

Nothing worth livin’ for when all you had was given.

She took all you had and you could never have it back.

Your innocence gone.

And she was far too strong.

 

To my 12-year-old self,

Now you’re sleeping with a metal bat.

Close to your bed so that instead of coming in and intruding on your body

They’d be leaving looking like THEY were the nobody’s.

Because your body was yours but she thought it was hers so she overpowered you and you choked down your words, for years.

 

To my 20-year-old self,

"Please" you thought "if there is a god, let him know that I’m lost"

Just end this!

You can no longer deal with the memory of her kiss.

Her touch.

The way she smiled too much.

Which to anyone else may have seemed romantic or even just some basic “teen antics”

But please try and envision

The life that I was livin’

Keeping all this inside just hoping that you'd die

Right in time to never hear your family say she did it for fun and that maybe she was far too young to know what she was doing.

But she clearly knew that she was abusing!

Your screams get louder and your thoughts get clearer, you can see her the way she made you stand in front of a mirror.

A w***e, no one will want you anymore.

You abhor the day that she was born.

The way she ripped your heart out of your chest and now you’re forever torn.

How can you explain what’s going on in your brain?

No one will listen but you know that she knew.

She knew and she stills knows

But you're the one that’s getting called a hoe.

By people who clearly don’t love you anymore.

There you go wiping your nose while nobody knows how you truly feel.

She must’ve been confused or she must’ve been abused herself.

Tell that to my 4-year-old self.

Reviews

[SunnyDaze]

YOU TOTALLY SUCK I LITERALLY CANT EVEN