Chapter 2

“Miss Greene is that gum in your mouth?”  I looked up from my sketch on my worksheet nervously.  Oh gosh, my gum fell for one second and now they catch me?  I guess I should give these teacher’s credit.  They were great observers.
    What was I going to do?  I really didn’t want to go to detention.  Thinking quickly I swallowed my gum whole, fighting not to gag.
    “No, Mr. Frittz.”
    “Really?”  I could tell by the stern look on his wrinkled face that he didn’t believe me.  I nodded.
    “Mr. Williams will you please check for me?  I am in no mood to look into a girl’s mouth right now.  Though I’m guessing you will not have a problem.”  I tensed.  Was there no end?
    Renn grinned and nodded.
    “Sure thing, Mr. Frittz.”  I watched as Renn got up from his seat half way across the room and began to head toward him.  If we had been alone I would be glaring, but of course I was in the classroom.  I was Shy Natalie.  I was Silent Natalie.  I was going to keep that reputation the best I could until Keeyah came and ruined it.
    Though she probably wouldn’t.  Keeyah knew that if she told everyone that I had attitude and that I insulted her, her reputation might be punctured as well.  Everyone would know that she lost to Shy Natalie.  I bet people would get a kick out of that one.
    “Open wide Miss Greene,” Renn said playfully.  I opened up obediently crossing my arms across my chest.  The resistance of glaring was getting harder by the second.  Renn brought his hands down on my cheeks and titled my head.  I knew that even if gum had been up there he wouldn’t have said anything.  He was just doing this to tick me off.  He brought my head from side to side.  
    “What lovely teeth you have Miss Greene.  It seems like there is no plaque at all.  What toothpaste do you use?  Crest?”  I closed my eyes so the fury wouldn’t show.  
    “Mr. Williams is there gum or not?  We do not need a lesson on how well the girl takes care of her teeth.”
    “Gum is a negative, Sir.”  Mr. Frittz nodded, though the nod wasn’t approving.  Jerk.  He wanted to give me a detention.  What has I ever done to him?
    “Mr. Williams please take your seat.”
    I kept my eyes on the board as Mr. Frittz went back to his lesson.  I was entirely aware of the fact that if I looked back down at my desk he would call me out on something again.  Maybe he hated me because I failed that science test last week.  It’s not my fault that he sucks at teaching.
    “Can someone tell me about the atom?  I know I asked this question earlier this year, but let’s see how much you remember.”  I hoped with all my might that he wouldn’t pick me, but knew I was hoping in vain.  
    “Mr. Carlson how about you?  What do you remember about the atom?”  I sighed in relief as I turned to look at a boy in the front of the room by the name of Eric.  He wore glasses and had really thin light brown hair.  He had what looked like a severe case of acne, and people made fun of him for it.  I would stick up for him, but usually I’m made fun of right along with him.  
    “U-u-um t-t-the a-a-tom . . .”  I looked around and watched as the class smirked and grinned at his stutter.  I rolled my eyes and turned to look back at Eric.  As my eyes reached Eric’s nervous head, I saw Renn smirking as well.  Just what I thought.  A complete jerk.  
    “. . . a-a-and e-ele-ectrons.”
    “Great job Mr. Carlson.  Is there anything else you know about the atom?”  Eric shook his head.  I knew that Eric new plenty more about the atom.  He just didn’t want to talk.
    “Miss Greene.  How about you give us some more insight?”
    “Well,” I began, “atoms can fuse together, they can bond.”
    “And what type of bonding can they perform?”
    “Ionic or covalent.”
    “Excellent.  Anything else?”
    “Atoms make up elements.”
    “Elements?  What kinds of elements?  Do they form fire, water . . . what?”
    “Those aren’t elements Mr. Frittz!” a kid shouted from across the room.  The class began to laugh.
    “Elements like Hydrogen, Helium, Oxygen . . .”
    “Very good.”
    “Mrs. Frittz,” Renn said daringly.  I rolled my eyes.  He was such an idiot.
    “It’s ‘Mr.,’ Mr. Williams.  I am going to assume you know the difference between a male and a female.”
    “Well normally I can,” Renn said smiling.  The whole class began to laugh.  I didn’t get why.  Mr. Frittz looked like anything but a woman.
    “Are you implying that I look like a female organism Mr. Williams?”  The whole class turned to Renn who was now smiling wickedly.
    “A very attractive female organism.”  Everyone turned to see Mr. Frittz’s reaction.  I sighed sitting back in my seat.  It got boring listening to Renn make fun of the teachers.  I mean he did it every day.  Didn’t it get tiring for him?
    Mr. Frittz looked like he could tear Renn apart with his bare hands.  We watched as he stood up to his full height ready to yell.  
    “What Renn means Mr. Frittz,” I cut in before he could yell.  I was not in the mood, “is that if you were a female organism you would be an attractive one.  Which leads to the question, how would we look as the opposite gender?  Is there a way to find out how?”  Mr. Frittz turned to me, the fury easing from his face.  I sighed in relief.
    “I don’t think there is actually a way to find out.  There may be some fake site online, but truly, there is only guessing.”  I nodded.
    “Take out your textbooks and turned to page thirty-seven.  Do exercises one through three.  If it is not done by the end of class it will be homework.  Any questions come to my desk.”  We all obediently opened our books and began to work.
    I stared down at my book blankly.  It was some crap about atomic stuff.  We shouldn’t even be learning this stuff.  It’s for middle school.  We already learned this stuff last year.  I shrugged and tried to focus on the book.  At least it was easy.  The last subject we learned about I think might have caused me to fail for the whole semester.  
    I leaned down and grabbed my bag, digging for a paper and pencil.  The paper was easy to find, but the pencil was a whole other story.  It felt like forever until I pulled a constantly shrinking number two pencil that I’ve been using for over two weeks out of my bag.  
    I did the work trying to concentrate as hard as I could.  But as I worked, flashes of the events last night entered my mind.  It occurred to me then, that I would have to visit Alexis after classes.  I would see how she was doing.

(*(*(Renwall Academy)*)*)

“Did you finish the science work?” Renn asked as we all filed out of the room after the bell rang.  I ignored him completely.
    “Is this about the gum thing?  Are you mad at me because I was asked to look into your mouth?”
    I shook my head.
    “Then what is it?”
    “You’re like the rest,” I said simply.
    “What are you talking about?”
    “Don’t think I didn’t see you in there.  Smirking at Eric’s stutter.  I bet you’ve been laughing right along when your girlfriend pushes me around at lunch.”
    Renn seemed to be stunned into silence.  I shook my head and began to walk faster, not looking back to see if he had followed.  I knew he hadn’t.  Apparently my words got to him.  If they hadn’t he would have made some smart retort back to me.
    I sighed as I entered my next class.  Math test time.
    “Natalie good morning!” Mrs. Denelli called from her desk.  I smiled shyly and sat down.
    “Come on dear there’s no need to be nervous in front of me, no one else is here.”  I gave a small smile and shrugged.  She was probably the easiest to fool that I was a shy child.  Mrs. Denelli tended to make me nervous with her overexcitement.  
    “Ah come on dear, it’s been months since you entered this classroom.”  I smiled again, but didn’t answer.
    The class began to file in then.  Thank.  Gosh.  I don’t know how long I would’ve been able to hold out against that woman.  Damn her smile was beginning to get to me.  That teacher must be a sorcerer or something.  She should’ve gone back to Hogwarts.
    “Good morning class,” Mrs. Denelli said cheerfully.
    “Good morning Mrs. Denelli,” the class called back.  I stayed silent.
    “Are you ready for the math test today?” she asked excitedly.  Everyone but me groaned in protest.  Mrs. Denelli laughed. “Oh don’t look so glum children.”  She smiled at us looking around trying to catch someone’s eyes.  When she reached me, I quickly averted my gaze to the floor.
    “I’m guessing every single on of you studied super duper hard for this, and will do absolutely excellent!” Mrs. Denelli said cheerfully.  Really?  Super duper?  How old was she?  Eight? “Natalie will you please pass out the tests?”  
    I sighed and got up from my seat in the way back.  Of course she would pick me.  She always did when she had the chance.  She was trying so very hard to make me what she called unshy.  I don’t even think “unshy” is a word.  
    Mrs. Denelli handed me a stack of one-sided papers.  I turned without speaking to begin handing them out silently to the class.
    “Hey Silent,” a boy named Johnny said mockingly. “How is Silent doing today?  Is Silent going to speak?  How about it Silent?”  Everyone looked at me with smirks on their faces.
    “Johnny that is enough.  Leave  Natalie alone please.”
    “Why don’t you say a word for us Silent?  Let us hear what your attractive voice sounds like.  I hope it’s more attractive then your face.”
    “Johnny!” Mrs. Denelli said disapprovingly as a chorus of “Oohs” rang out.
    Oh this guy was really creative.  It was always the same thing.  I chomped down on my tongue so that I wouldn’t speak out.  I needed to hold my tongue.  Keep quiet.  Not let anyone know the real me.
    On my way to the next desk, my hip accidentally hit a girl’s arms.  
    “Watch it fat a*s,” she sneered.  I nodded an apology and handed her her paper.
    “Oh look the girl can nod.  Maybe she can’t talk.”
    “Johnny if you don’t stop it this instant-”
    “Mrs. Denelli shouldn’t it be Silent who should be sticking up for herself?  Silent needs to find some backbone.  Silent needs to-”
    “Johnny go to the Main Building and wait there until the end of the period.  I will see you then.  If you are not there, and even harsher punishment will be given to you.” Johnny smirked and got up from his seat.  After doing a bow he left the room.
    Silence was all that was left in the room.  I began to hand out papers again.  Someone stuck out their leg and I went crashing to the floor.  Everyone began to laugh hysterically.
    “Hey dip-s**t watch where you’re walking,” the boy who tripped me said.  I looked up at him and glared before I could stop myself.  I quickly let the glare subside when I saw the look of shock spread across his face.  I got up and dusted myself off.
    “Natalie are you alright?” Mrs. Denelli asked.  I didn’t answer her.  All I knew was that I needed to get out of there.  If I stayed another moment then I would start yelling at people.  
    I set the remaining stack of papers on a random kids desk and then ran to my desk.  The whole class watched in silence as I grabbed my things and ran for the door.  
    “Natalie come back here!” Mrs. Denelli shouted.  I ignored her completely.
    I ran from hall to hall not caring whether I got caught or not.  I was losing control.  What the hell was going on with me?  Before Alexis got attacked by Tanya I was just fine.  Just before I actually talked to Renn I was just fine.  Now I can barely conceal my emotions.  That was not going to work out well.  I needed desperately for people to think I was shy.  I didn’t want people near me.  I wanted them to stay away.
    “Natalie?” came a voice.  I spun and saw Renn walking my way.  Just what I freaking needed.  He really had bad timing.
    “What?” I demanded.
    “Don’t you have class?” he asked curiously as he got closer.  I began to walk backwards.
    “Don’t you?”  He held up his bathroom pass.
    “I have to go to the crapper.”
    “That’s an attractive name.”
    “I know I created it myself.”  I rolled my eyes and turned around.  I began to walk swiftly down the hall.  Renn hurried to catch up.
    “FYI the men’s bathroom is in the opposite direction.”
    “Yes, but you’re going in this direction.”
    “I don’t want to talk to you.”
    “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”  I rolled my eyes mentally.  He wasn’t sorry.  I knew he wasn’t.  How could he be sorry for something he enjoyed doing every day?  Making fun of people?  
    “No you’re not,” I replied and began to jog down the hall.

(*(*(Renwall Academy)*)*)

    “Hey look it’s the little shy girl deciding to eat something else.  Could you get any fatter?”  I rolled my eyes at Keeyah as I headed up in lunch.  I wasn’t fat.  She and I both knew it.
    “Hey little girl I’m talking to you!” Keeyah screamed obnoxiously.  She threw a roll at me.  I struggled to ignore her. “Here have a roll.”
    I looked over at Keeyah’s table and watched as Renn munched some corn.  He didn’t even care.  I knew it.  He was a liar.  He looked up and caught sight of me.  I averted my gaze and headed further in the lunch line.  
    I planned only to get a milk so I could hurry to visit Alexis.  Apparently they served guests lunch as well.  
    “Hey fat a*s you going to trip some more?”  
    “I-i-it’s o-o-kay,” Eric said from behind me. “I-I-I d-d-d-on’t t-t-think y-y-you’re f-fat.”  I looked back and smiled at him.
    “Thanks,” I said softly.  At least Eric was nice.
    “Hey Silent you going to speak?” Johnny called from his table.  I closed my eyes and counted swiftly to ten before headed up further in the lunch line.  Damn them all to Hell. “I guess Silent isn’t in the mood to speak.”
    “Hey why aren’t you speaking?” Keeyah said smiling. “Are you afraid we’ll think your voice is as unattractive as your figure?”  I glanced at Renn, who was looking down at his tray picking at his food.
    “Hey!” Keeyah said laughing. “Maybe her voice will sound like-”  I watched as Renn touched her shoulder and whispered something in her ear.  She glared from me to him, but shut her mouth.  I was appalled.  He had actually told her to shut up.  
    I bought my milk and headed toward the doors.
    “Goodbye Silent!  Why don’t you go eat in the pig pen?  You’re more welcome there.”  I rubbed my ear and secretly flipped him off.  Eh, no one would notice.
    I walked down the silent halls toward the infirmary.  I wanted nothing more than to be in the comforting presence of Alexis.  She always knew how to make me feel better even in the worst of times.
    “Hey Natalie,” she said cheerfully as I walked into the room.  I smiled.
    “Hey yourself Alex.  How’s the healing going?”  She made a face of disgust.
    “Ugh it’s horrible.  And my favorite pajamas were ruined!”
    “I know.  I was thinking about that when I brought you here.”  She glanced at me.
    “How did you carry me all the way here anyway?  I mean I know I’m not, you know, fat or anything, but I’m not exactly light or anything.”  Again with the fat thing.  What was up with this world?    
    “Well on my way down the hall Renn came out and helped me get you here.”  Her eyes widened.
    “Renn?  As in Williams Renn?”  I rolled my eyes and began to drink my milk.
    “That would be the one.”  She squealed with delight.  Sigh.  Girls with their stupid crushes.
    “He actually touched me?  With his hands?”  I laughed at her.
    “You’re so pathetic Alex,” I said smiling. “Yes with the hands.”  She ignored my insult.  There was a dreamy look in her eyes.  Oh boy here we go again.
    “Someday he’s going to way up and realize that he’s madly in love with me.  And then we’re going to have five kids.  Three girls and two boys.  All of them with his looks.  Oh gosh I’m going to have sexy children.”  I would have slapped her in the arm, but there was an IV there.
    “He’s not worth it Alex.  He’s a complete and utter jerk.”
    “You always say that, but you’ve never talked to him,” she countered the dazed look still on her face.
    “Yeah I have actually.”  She stared at me, appalled.  I grinned.
    “You’re joking right?  You’ve gotten the honor to speak to him?”
    “You sound like a freaking fan girl from an anime,” I said leaning back in the chair I was occupying.  
    “But you really did?  You’re not lying?”
    “I wouldn’t call it an honor.”
    All of a sudden the door of the infirmary opened.  Speak of the devil, Renn walked in with a large smile on his face.  I glared at him.
    “I thought you said you were going to the, what was it?  Crapper?”  He grinned at me.
    “I already went to the crapper.  It was invigorating.”  I slapped his arm.
    “You’re such a pervert.”  I looked over at Alexis.  She looked as red as a tomato. “Alex why don’t you say hi to this jerk of a man?  Wait no, man isn’t even the word for it.  Little boy.”
    “Hey,” Renn said holding up his hands. “I am a man okay.  A very sexy man.”
    “Big ego much?”
    “No I’m just telling the truth,” Renn said grinning.  He looked over at Alexis. “Right Alex?”  She nodded vigorously.  I rolled my eyes.  
    “What are you doing here?” I demanded looking at him with narrowed eyes.
    “I’m here to visit Alex is that wrong?” Renn said smiling.  I knew he was lying.
    “Yes,” I said at the same time Alexis said, “No.”  I rolled my eyes.
    “Well visit her and get out,” I muttered.
    “Natalie!” Alexis said in a shocked voice. “Don’t be mean!”  I rolled my eyes but didn’t answer.  
    “I’ll just leave you two alone then,” I said getting up.  I was expecting Alexis to argue, but she just nodded.  Wow, some great friend.
    I walked out of the room half slamming the door behind me.  In front of me, Keeyah.  She was glaring at me, and I could have sworn I saw smoke coming out of her ears and nostrils.
    “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” she spat.  
    “And that is?” I asked looking at my nails.
    “You’re trying to steal my boyfriend away from me.”
    “Oh yes.  That’s exactly what I’m going.” She gave me a small shove.
    “Doing be smart with me.  You’re plan is not going to work.”
    “Hell would freeze over before I wanted Renn.  He’s a jerk, just like you.”
    “That’s the best you can come up with?  Jerk?”
    “Well I would say a*s-hole, but you know that seems too mean,” I said smiling.  Keeyah began advancing toward me.  Her face was demented.  I could just tell that she was about to beat me up.  I backed up slowly until I hit the back of the door.
    “Not so brave now are we?” she whispered.
    “Why are you doing this?” I whispered. “Why are you always making fun of me?”
    “Because you’re Fat A*s and I hate you,” Keeyah answered bluntly.  She brought up a hand as if to slap me.  I knew she would have, but she never got the chance.  At that moment the door opened and I fell back.
    “What the-” Renn said in surprise as I quickly moved away from him. “Keeyah what the hell are you doing?”  Keeyah lowered her hand to her hair and began to rub it.
    “I was fixing my hair honey.”
    “Yeah, that’s exactly why Natalie was against the door, and you were looking like you were about to slap her.”
    “What does it matter Renn?” Keeyah asked angrily. “She’s Silent.  She doesn’t matter.”  Renn shook his head and glared at her.
    “Bull s**t,” he said.  I ran out the door before I could hear anything else.
    “Natalie!” Renn called as I ran down the hall.  I didn’t turn back.  No.  I wasn’t going to deal with this right now.  I didn’t want any apologies, I didn’t want any more friends.  I wanted to go back to when I was eight years old and everything was perfect.  My parents still loved me, and my brother was still alive.  I didn’t know anyone at this school which was fine by me.  I mean I loved Alexis and all, but no offense, my life was a hell of a lot better when I lived back home.
    I wanted my old life back.  I wanted my old friends Ali, Karrissa, and Lilly.  They had been the best friends I had ever had.  Then I had moved here.  No connections what so ever.  I bet they moved on just fine forming cliques with other people.  Joining groups.  While I was stuck here.  
    I slammed my dorm room behind me giving a small scream of agitation.  I went over to the body mirror that Alexis and I kept in the middle of the room.  I looked down at my butt pouting.  I wasn’t freaking fat.  My friends used to call me anorexic back home.  Why was I Fat A*s here?  It just didn’t make sense!  I was probably just as small as Keeyah.  Someone should call her fat a*s for a change.  Just because she was taller and wore layers of make up didn’t make her skinnier than me.
    My door opened.
    “Renn get the hell-” I turned and screamed.  Tanya stared at me coldly.
    “Thinking I was your dream boy, eh?” Tanya asked smirking.  I was too frightened to respond.
    “W-w-what do you want?”
    Tanya walked forward slowly.  I backed up at the same pace until I bumped into the window.  I felt the coolness of the glass press into my back.  It was usually comforting, but today it wasn’t.  It only told me that I had nowhere left to go.  I shifted the the side.  Tanya followed.  
    She got so close to me that I could feel her breath in my face.  I ducked under her and ran to my door.  Hopefully Renn hadn’t gone into his dorm yet.
    “Renn!” I screamed running down the hall with tears in my eyes.
    “You told someone didn’t you, Natalie?  You told someone of what I did to Alexis.  Both of you are dead where you stand.”  I felt tears burn in my eyes.  I hadn’t told anyone.  I knew I didn’t.
    “I didn’t!” I screamed.  “I didn’t tell anyone.”
    “Think back to when you were bringing your friend to the infirmary.”  My mind flashed back.  
    “What did Tanya use this time?” Renn asked softly as we headed down the corridor that would lead to the infirmary.  I sighed a shaky sigh.
    “A steak knife.”  Renn shivered. “I have to tell someone.”
    Oh.  S**t.  I had not only just killed myself, but I’ve given Renn the death ticket as well.  I began to cry harder.
    I turned the corner and smacked into someone.  I looked up and saw Renn staring at me worriedly.  Not caring at that moment about anything, I brought my arms around him crying into his shirt.
    “Natalie what’s wrong?” he asked.  
    “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean it.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “We’re dead where we stand.  Tanya’s going to kill us.”  Renn froze.
    “What are you talking about?”
    “I told you!” Natalie cried. “I told you what happened to Alexis.  She’s going to be after us both!”
    “What brought this on?”  I pulled away and looked down the hall.  Tanya was nowhere to be seen.  I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my dorm.  I sat on my bed and put my hands in my arms.
    “Natalie,” Renn murmured.
    “She was right where you’re standing right now.  She was staring at me with those eyes,” I muttered in a haunted voice.  “Funny thing is, I thought she was you at first.  You’re the type who runs after people.”  I turned my head to look out the window. “She backed me up to the window.  I got away and ran down the hall.  That’s when she told me why she had come.  To kill me.  To kill us both.”  I began to cry.
    “I’m sorry Renn.  I’ve killed you without noticing it.  That’s what I do.  I’m just as bad as Tanya.  I’m a murderer Renn!”  I collapsed on my bed covering my face with a pillow.  Renn walked over and sat down next to me.  I felt a hesitant hand on my back.  I ignored it.
    “I asked you.  It’s not your fault.”    
    “D****t Renn you don’t understand!  I was an idiot and told you.”
    “You had an almost dead friend in your arms.  How were you supposed to think of the consequences?”
    “I had the consequences in my arms!  So did you!”
    “So I should have been smart enough to know not to ask, Natalie.”    
    “Why are you trying to get the blame off of me?” I demanded sitting up.  I glared at him.
    “Why are you trying to put it on you?”
    “Because I deserve it.”  He stared at me for a long time.  I forced myself not to look away.  
    “Why do you deserve it?”
    “I always deserve it.”  His hard stare turned into a confused one.
    “What do you mean?” Oh s**t.  I spoke too much.  I glared at him.  I grabbed a pillow of my bed and chucked it at him.
    “Leave!” I screamed. “Get the hell out of my room.”  Renn stood and stared down at her.
    “Natalie...”  I looked up at him with teary eyes.
    “Please just go!” I yelled closing my eyes.  I didn’t open them until I heard the door close.
    I wiped my eyes and sighed.  I had just showed way too much emotion.  He wasn’t going to take me seriously anymore.  All he was going to see was me crying and fragile.  Great.  I was supposed to be Silent.  I wasn’t supposed to show any emotion at all.  First with Keeyah and now him.  And I almost told him about Philipe.  I knew that if I didn’t kick him out I would’ve told him.  My emotions were out of control.
    I walked back over to the body mirror and stared at my figure.  I looked the same, but I definitely didn’t feel the same.  For two years now I’ve kept the shell.  What the hell was happening to me?

Author's Note

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