I Thought

I thought of you today...

Remembered the silent staring contests

How you smiled yesterday.

Then I felt awfully conflicted.

You hadn't been gone for long

I hadn't known you for long

Yet this pain in my chest was real

The emptiness, the scars,

Your loss felt deeply real.

You were a strange beautiful creature

Dancing in cold rainy fields

Your eyes were alive like nature

Twinkling marvelously in my dreams.

One word.

One whisper.

Silence.

And you're gone.

I thought we were friends,

maybe even something more.

But as usual.

"I'm wrong."

I sigh deeply. "Like I thought..."

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

I mean no offense when I say this... you are writing about the early stages of an abandonment complex.

It's well conveyed. You're a good writer.

[Tiny Drop]

Thank you for your words T K.
It might have been a little too depressing indeed since when I wrote this I clearly wanted to convey this feeling of deep abandonment and loss. A feeling of not knowing where you stand anymore, thinking the world has gone mad and you can't turn it back in time. It's an emotion I wanted to share since I once felt like this before and luckily I learned how to cope with it.
However, sometimes memories are like a plague which sticks to your core, so I can't help but reminisce of the bad times because they remind me of how good the better ones were!
Sorry if I answered your review a little too seriously :)

[Davidgeo]

Don't be sorry at all. Your response was thoughtful and reasoned; if you can do that every time you should feel comfortable saying absolutely anything you want at anytime.

You're not wrong to wonder where you stand. Just don't let anybody tell you where your center is exactly. Not even pathological reoccurring s****y memories can f**k that up if you do it right. Find your center, what you're good at... outside noises tend to fade away and become meaningless after that.

I like exotic felines, archaic poetry and marijuana.

[Tiny Drop]

I won't then, thank you for your words and your advice T K. I appreciated them very much.
read moreI won't then, thank you for your words and your advice T K. I appreciated them very much.

However finding your center is not always that easy to find especially nowadays where life is a constant bombardment of distractions and outside noise. But as you said the noise does tend to fade out when you're doing something you truly enjoy. I guess I better start doing it more!

[Davidgeo]

Let go, with great care just, let go... it really is that simple. What we really are tends to be simple underneath, after loss.

[Rye]

I like the feel of this write and the emotions. This kind of has a lonely feel to it, well expressed.

[Tiny Drop]

Thanks Kami :) that was actually the feeling I was trying to transmit, the loneliness of losing someone precious to you and the longing for what was lost: the smiles, the laughter... when sadly whats remains are only bittersweet memories.