Nerves.

Everyone uses guilt to explain “ what’s eating you  up inside”. Humans do this a lot, they rationalize the fears they have with words that hold no meaning.

Being nervous is a type of suffering that is so mundane, but so powerful. Anxiety could take over your body, and control it. It can change the course your brain has set your body on. It can be as simple as  clicking your pen over and again, until it annoys everyone around you. It can also cause you to shut down, and feel like you’re dying.

 You have nerves on every part of your body. They wrap around you, trace every part of you. Most imagine anxiety as a mental disorder that only affects your mind. Imagine all of those nerves. Then imagine them being plagued with anxiety. 

Most other emotions, they happen quickly. Anger tends to lash out, sadness creeps in, but can make an appearance, happiness can be written on anyone’s face, but anxiety is a feeling of impending doom. You’re expecting something, no matter how big or small it might seem, and it scares you.

Sure, you can be anxious about something exciting, a job offer, a baby’s gender, anything that is linked with happiness. Although, for anything bad, it can be absolutely terrifying to have that type of fear embedded in you. I use the word embedded because that’s it. It’s almost a part of you, coursing through your veins, filling you with a dark worry.

Fear is a powerful weapon, one of the strongest. A threat can feel terrifying, especially compared to an empty attack.  Being nevous is so unfathomable. You’re so scared that you can be shaking, sweating, crying. You can  lose eyesight, consciousness in moments. You will form a pit in your stomach, throat, chest, and surprisingly, heart.

         Yes, guilt can eat you from the inside out, but Anxiety will devour you.