Chralotte

   

 I remember the first day we met. We were in church, and you sneezed really loudly when we were praying. It was so funny. I loudly yelled bless you and we made eye contact. Since then, I always made sure to be on time to church.

As the cold winter months passed, we hung out more. Outside of church we were almsot inseperable! I would buy you ice cream every Friday, but you would always  buy us milkshakes on Saturday. We would ride bikes after church, and our sleepovers happened almost every week! Our youthful days were my favorite. Being with you was my favorite feeling.

That was the summer we kissed for the first time. You initiated it, but we both looked scared when we pulled back, but we just giggled. I wasnt scared, just suprised. We kissed a lot on those summer nights, but it didn’t mean anything. We were just really good female friends. Two girls kissing would be wrong, and we both knew that.

Once we graduated, everything was different. We stopped hanging out as much. You started actually dating guys. We still saw each other, but it was different. You were different, we both knew it but I didn’t care. You were still Charlotte to me. One night I kissed your cheek, we stopped kissing on the lips, and you yelled at me. You told me I was disgusting and that I should never do that again. You scared me at that moment. I started crying. You started shaking and you ran back home. I didn’t see you after that. 

Well, we still saw each other, but never alone. It was always with your boyfriend, or some other friends of ours. I started dating a guy too. We kissed, but it wasn’t the same. He didn’t grab my chin when our lips touched, but you did. He didn’t play with my hair when we were done. He just held my hand. I knew then, at that point, that me and you were over. I knew the moment I found out you were getting married to your “ boyfriend”. You had the audacity to invite me to the wedding, and I had the stupidity to go. You looked happy, and then we made eye contact and I saw it. I saw the way you looked at me.  As if you were starving and I was the only thing to satiate you. The way your eyes wrapped around me, they held me in their grasp, and I didn’t want to leave. You were you again, and I would do anything for the you I saw that evening.

60 years later, and I’m still in love with you. I married my guy and I gave him 3 kids. I stayed home and cooked for him and cleaned for him. You had two kids, and I knew you weren’t truly happy. You would’ve been happier with me. I would buy you milkshakes whenever you want, or hold your hand when we crossed the street, and I would help you with your hair because you can never figure out how to wrap your bows correctly. You’re an almost happy. I know that in another life, I’m your husband making you happy, because that could have never happened in this one.