Nothing Feel Better Than Home

The first chapter of "All Fall Down". I know bad title! I suck at titles! xD I know it starts kind of quickly but that's just the way it happened. Sorry. Not much planning went into this. It was just a spoof idea that I might keep up to the end.

All Fall Down by A.L. Newhall

Chapter One:  Nothing Feels Better Than Home

    In Maine far from the ocean but near many woods, was a small town, in this town lived many children. Out of these children there was a teenage girl and her name was Marianne. This girl had reddish brown  hair to her shoulder blades, spectacled over her high slightly tanned cheeks bones were reddish-brown freckles. They weren’t bright orange like a gingers, not was her skin a pasty pale color. But it was a sweet, light tan that had reddish freckles scattered all over her body. She had a beautiful heart shaped face.
    Ever sense she was little Marianne was always a sporty kind of girl. She was a star athlete in her high school but despite this Marianne liked dresses. She often disregarded the comfortable jeans and shirts of a normal young girl and wore dresses everywhere. She had so many different kinds, but today she was having a wonderful day. And sense she woke feeling so spectacular she put on her favorite dress and grabbed her favorite book. Now as a high school student the summer before her Junior year, her favorite book was Peter Pan.
    She didn’t really read a lot, and she wasn’t unnaturally fond of fantasy. However, the magic and the character of Peter Pan himself had caught her attention and captured her heart. She knew that he would always be first in her heart against everything else. Right now, she was strolling down the street to the park. Her hair and the end of her dress were blowing gently in the wind.
    Marianne was known as the happiest person in the world within her town. But to be the happiest person ever, you cannot smile all the time, for if you do that you will now know when to laugh. And that’s exactly how Marianne was. She never smiled when the occasion didn’t call for it, but how she could laugh. And her manner was so gentle like a summer breeze. Her eyes so soft like an autumn’s shedding. Her eyes were the color of fall, a reddish hazel color that she got from her mother. If you looked closely into her eyes you could see specs of orange. It was always captivating.
    As she got closer to the park she could hear the gaieties of boys and girls enjoying the late spring day. School had ended only a week ago, and everyone was quick to enjoy the warmth. She smiled at she walked into the festivities of her neighbors. Her friends ran up to her one at a time as she walked to her favorite tree across on the other side by the creek. Some people waved to her from the sidelines for they didn’t want to take a break in their activities.
    “Mary, will you play Frisbee with us?” asked her sister in-law, Maria‘s older sister was married to the girls older brother. She shook her head,
    “Not today, I’m going to read.”
    “Fine.” and she ran off.
    “How many times have you read that book?” asked someone next to her in ironic interest. Marianne smiled to herself but didn‘t look at Elizabeth,
    “Well, in a minute it will be one more time sense yesterday, Eliza.” she stated with the same mock.
    “Oh,” said Elizabeth, “Then a million and one now, Maria.”
    “Yes, that’s about it.”
    “Well, you promised,”
    “For tomorrow.”
    “Yes, of course.” Elizabeth said and rolled her eyes behind Marianne’s back.
    “BETH!” yelled a voice it the distance.
    “Tomorrow than?” she asked as she stepped up in front of her a bit so she could look in her face. Eliza was a light girl with black hair and brown eyes. There were so many things special about her, just like everyone else. She had a good strong sense of worry and she had somewhat of co-dependency on Maria, just Maria had on Eliza. They were best friends and they loved each other to death. They agreed if they weren’t married by 27, they would become lovers. They were both 16 right now.
    “I promised didn’t I. And I can’t read a whole book twice in two days.” she laughed a bit and Eliza was satisfied and chuckled as well. She kissed Maria’s freckled cheek and ran off.
    “I LOVE YOU!” Eliza over her shoulder .
    “I LOVE YOU TOO!” Maria yelled back. She continued on and said high to a few people she knew and finally she was down. She picked the side that sat her parallel with the creek and right in front of a thick hedge that  separated one section of the park from another. The other side was accessed a few yards down were it the hedge opened up and you followed the wide brick path to other areas. At least, hedge was the only thing to call it. It was actually a thick layer of trees about 15 feet wide, mixed with it were bushes and old, fallen leaves.  The length of it stretch the whole park until it was divided by the creek but only continued on the other side.
    She didn’t notice anything different or unwelcome in her area of being so she nestled comfortably. She pulled her book out of her large shoulder bag and began to read were she left off last night which was the middle of chapter one.

    
    On this lovely summer morning, a few teenagers were sleeping. These adolescents usually consisted of juveniles, the sick, or the just plain lazy. Out of these children was a boy who’s name was Hayden. Hayden was an interracial child, his mother was white and his father was black. He got his father’s looks more than his mother’s, he had long black dreads and dark skin. However, despite this, he had blue eyes. It was something of a shock when you first met him, but many people got used to it.
    Hayden was a tall boy who wore regular clothes, jeans, American Eagle and Chucks. The usual. On this day he was wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt. And because he hadn’t woken up yet he wasn’t doing anything in particular. It was 11:30 in the morning and he was still dead asleep even though the sun was shining brightly through his window and onto his face.  Well, he was comfortable asleep until his cell phone started bursting out in a rock song.
    “What the f**k…” he muttered to himself as she rolled over and grabbed it from his night stand. He flipped it open. “Yello..” he said tiredly as he rubbed his eyes.
    “Dude!!“
    “Hey Tom.” Hayden greeted half heartedly.
    “We’re gonna play some ball. Come down to the park. Ok?”
    “Football?”
    “Yeah.”
    “Who’s ‘we’?”
    “Everyone.” stated Tom. Aidan groaned and rubbed his forehead, he drug his hand down his face.
    “Give me a few minutes, aight?”
    “Hurry up.”
    “Just start without me.”
    “I know.”
    “Good.”
    “Marianne is here.”
    “So?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “Whatever.”
    “Peace.”
    “Peace.”
    The phone was clicked shut and Hayden swung his legs over the side of his bed. He looked at his alarm clock and yawned when he read the digits. He hated the summer and wished for it to be over as quick as possible. He couldn’t wait till college and then his life. Getting out of this little town was his first priority. That’s why he was sending in applications further out of no closer than Boston and the West Coast. He wasn’t going to be stuck in that town for the rest of his life like his dad had been.     
    After he showered, brushed his teeth and dressed, he left. As he walked down the street his thoughts were on everything but the day before him. He had on a regular pair of jeans and a shirt that said Bob Marley down the side. The reggae singer was one of his idols and his music inspired him to study music himself. Now Hayden plays backup guitar in his band along with a little bit of bass and the drums. Right now he was thinking of a new song in his head. His mind was always racing with some new idea he hadn’t used yet or was thinking about repeating.
    His shoes padded onto the walk of the park. Off in the distance on both sides were groups of people doing summer activities. To his right he could see the group of kids inhabiting the swings. There group had a lot of boys, but unlike his own, they actually had girls. Three of the guys were wearing the style of aviator sunglasses and so was one of the girls. All the girls weren’t bad to look at, but the one with the sunglasses was really loud and said some odd things. He knew the girl had connections with Marianne. He didn’t talk to the group much, they weren’t his cup of tea. They were two hyperactive, never really calm, at least not from a distance. To his left there was a group of girls and in it he saw Marianne’s best friend with her long black hair. She laughed and talked with the other girls Marianne should have been hanging out with.
    Hayden than remembered what Tom had said on the phone when he neared his friends, a group of bunch of guys playing football. Because behind the tree to his right, off the path, he could see Marianne sticking out from against the trunk. Her giant purse, and a book on her knees, it was probably Peter Pan. He knew it was her favorite of all time and she would always re-read it. His stomach tied into a nervous knot as he looked at her and then walked past the tree.
    “Hey, Hayden!” Tom yelled, out of the corner of his eyes he saw Marianne look up tensely. He didn’t see her turn around and look at the back of his head, but when Tom came up to him and they shook hands trustingly he turned his head back. She was looking into her book, her face showed all signs of being relaxed but he remembered she was a wonderful actress. He turned back around hopelessly.

    
    Marianne found herself reading over the same sentence for the hundredth time. She let out an irritated sigh and closed her eyes. She leaned her head back on the tree and let the soft wind relax her. She could hear his laughs, and voices in the background. The calling of his plays that he had made her learn. But she had forgotten most of them now. He heard it go into action and she knew he wouldn’t see her if she took a quick glance. She turned her head and peered around the tree. He looked over at her, his arms in front of his face waiting for the ball. There eyes locked and Marianne felt her cheeks grow red. The ball hit him in the face, she turned away within a split second.
    Her chest heaved with regretted excitement. It had been a few weeks, she hadn’t cried then. She had cried, all alone, in her room. She had cried. She had been torn apart and she was so thankful he had not seen her like that. But now, now she was so much better. All she did was cry at odd moments, like in the middle of class, or on the buss, or in the middle of the night. It usually happened when something else wasn’t on her mind. That’s why she was always trying to do something. And Peter had always helped, but he couldn’t help now, not when he was so near. Was that really better? Her heart still pounded rapidly when she thought of him and it felt like butterflies were going to fly up her throat when she looked at him. And when he touched her, her skin still melted. When he spoke to her, she barely heard what he said because her heart was thumping so loud in her ear.
    She was so weak. And she hated being so weak. She lowered her head into her hands and rubbed her brow. “Oh God...please...help me. ” she muttered to herself in desperate need of strength. Loud voices behind her brought her back to reality.
    “Dude! You took that s**t right to the face!” yelled one of his friends.
    “Yeah…” Hayden replied, Marianne had the feeling he was looking at her.
    “You ok?”
    “Yeah, I’m fine.”
    Then there was a low exchange of voices. Marianne looked behind her and saw Tom standing in front of Hayden. Tom was explaining something in a quiet voice and everyone else was further away now. Hayden shook his head and Marianne saw him look up, but before he could meet her eyes she turned around.  She thought of getting up and leaving. No. She wasn’t going to leave. She could take this, she was going to be brave for once. She wasn’t leaving. Not now. How would she ever get over him by avoiding him? But was he over it? He was always persistent. Was this constant acquaintance with her a sign that he still loved her, or because he was showing her that he was over her and that he wanted to be friends.
    Marianne had convinced herself to believe the second one. Why would he brake up with her if he still loved her? Why would he go out with Caroline, if he still loved her? In the background she heard the game take place again and relaxed. She looked back down at her book and allowed Never Never Land to swallow her completely.

    
    Hayden tried his best to get back into the game, but his mind wouldn’t let him concentrate. He kept thinking about her just sitting over there. And then, that led to past things, and why he even broke up with her in the first place. Why was it again?  He couldn’t remember now. Something about too much attachment. Or something. In the end he took another ball to the face and got all dizzy. His friends made jokes that he didn’t hear fully, some about ‘taking balls to the face’ and then some other ones that teenage boys make.
    They set him down on the other side of the tree and left him to horror. He knew she was only a few feet away, no more than two. He leaned against the tree at his head pounded and his cheeks flushed.
    “If you don’t mind, I’m going to sleep.” he said exhaustingly.
    “Go right head love.” was her reply in her best actress voice. He barely heard it.

    Hayden felt a shiver go down the length of his spine. The sensation woke him out of his heavy sleep and he opened his eyes to the few minutes after dusk. The sun was now fully hidden and the atmosphere was a bluish black against his eyes. The lamp light was a faint yellow in the distance, it was some ways to the main path now. He then, noticed the blanket on top of him. It smelled like Anna. She never had a strong scent, but when you got real close to her, your nose pressed lightly against her skin you could smell cucumbers. Now, the scent made his mouth water with want.
    “Anna,” he said sharply under his breath. He threw the blanket off of him and stepped around the tree. He didn’t know what drove the feeling, but something had told him she wasn’t there. When he peered down all he saw was her large bag, it sat freshly rummaged through, nothing like the first time he had seen it.
    “That’s big bag,” he said with a smirk as he pointed out the obvious. Despite his crude remark she looked up and smiled,
    “Well, she carry’s my life between her seems.” she said poetically. “I taker her everywhere. I never let her out of my sight.”
    “You keep a good track on your life.” he said charmingly.
    “That I do.” Her reddish brown features glowed against the light of the sun.
    
    Her perfect face faded from his mind as a breeze passed him. A rustling caught his attention and he looked down. Next to his foot was her worn out paper back. The pages of Peter Pan flipped on their own in the soft wind.  He went to pick it up and looked at it oddly, Marianne would never let this happen. She would never leave her bag and her book sitting here without her. His attention was torn from the book as someone screamed from within the nature trail to his left. It divided the two sides of the park, but didn’t go far to west, because the creek was right there. He could hear it in the background. It had to be somewhere down the length of it towards east. He ran into the trees, never hindering despite anything that hit him.
    The scream sounded again, in the direction her interpreted.  It was defiantly her voice. He took off in a dead sprint, he weaved in and out of the trees rapidly. His heart pounded and his eyes scanned the shadows quickly. Another scream rang into his ears, but it sounded so far off. It felt as if he would never reach her. He found himself back on the again and pushed harder than ever now in the clear. He saw a light up ahead, but it was off the trail. A Holy Tree branch slapped him straight in the face as he skidded to a halt and picked up a flashlight. It was the same exact one that Anna kept in her purse. Blue and small.
    He wasted no time with running again. Another scream made his heart skip and then he saw a flash of white move behind a tree.
    “Anna!” he cried frantically and pushed past brush before he finally turned around the tree. He found her there, in her summer dress and low top Converse.
    
    Marianne felt herself falling into the blackness. Tears were streaming down her eyes  as she shook her head absently.
    “Please, just leave me alone. I want to go home. I want to go home.” she repeated these phrases distractedly. “Please, I just want to go home.”    
    “No, you want him to hold you. Come child, and we will bring you to that dream.” said a hissing voice in her ears.
    “No,” she shook her head languorously. “Please,”
    “We know your deepest secrets.” said a pair of red eyes. She suddenly gasped. It was a sharp intake of breath. She looked up. He was standing there, chest heaving like he had just got down running. But there was something else, an ache in each breath like he wanted to die. As tall as ever next to her small frame. His dreadlocks falling around his sweaty face and his blue eyes shimmering with the night. He had a look of complete anxiety.
    “Hayden,” she said suddenly. And there she was, her dress soiled from dirt. Tears pouring down her face and dirt smudging her skin everywhere. Her reddish brown eyes were full of frantic fear. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into him. It was odd at first, these arms hadn’t been around her for so long. It felt like forever. So, the red eyes hadn’t been lying, she thought. He really was there, in his strong arms. She wrapped her herself slowly and uncertainly around his body.
    Tears fell from her eyes and into his shirt. She shook silently against his body. He smoothed her hair softly and kept repeating her name so gently against his lips she barely heard it.
    “Anna, Anna, Anna, Oh God Anna,” he always called her Anna. She held onto him in desperate need to feel his body. He held her for a few moments before he pulled away from her and she broke. It was like her limbs were being torn apart when he placed his arms on her shoulders and looked down at her. “Are you ok?” he asked with a small voice, as if he was afraid of her reply. She was a bit confused at the tone of the question and nodded her head timidly. Well, she was fine, just not mentally.

    Hayden was positively relieved when she nodded her head and broke all physical contact with her. He turned in a small circle in the trees. He rubbed his face and forehead with closed eyes and let out a deep breath.
    “I heard you scream. And the worst ran through my mind. I know it was horrible to think it, but I thought you were being raped, or kidnapped or…” he closed his eyes as he was tilted away from her, tears sprouted from under his lids, he didn’t really care if she saw. He wanted her to know that he cared about her. He turned back to her and advanced. His face was contorted in his struggling of feelings for her. Was now the right time to tell her that he wanted her more than anything in the world? But he knew if he started now and didn’t gain control he would burst in a wave of emotions. He didn’t want to do that, he didn’t want to scare her. Not here, not now.
    He looked away from her in dire pain. Her boyfriend would kill him if he found out he was just holding her like that. He was big, and white and played football. Hayden knew she went out with him just to take her pain away. She needn’t a distraction and he hated his self for doing that to her.
    “But Hayden,” she began, “If I didn’t scream, than who did?” she asked. He looked over at her from his thoughts. His brow scrunched,
    “Oh God, someone could be dieing, or worse. We have to them.”
    “Of course.” Marianne agreed.
    “No,” Hayden thought for a moment, “I can’t let you. It might be dangerous.”
    “Of course.” she agreed easily. Hayden knew she wouldn’t disagree with him in this situation.
    “Where’s you cell?” he asked. She pulled it out and went to use it when she looked at the screen astonished.
    “What is it?”
    “It’s dead…” she said incuriously, “I don’t know how. I didn’t use it all day.” she looked up at Aidan.
    “It’s alright,” he said as he walked back the way he came. “You’ll just have to run to the nearest house and get some help.” he said as moved through the night.
    “Hayden?” Marianne asked, like she wasn’t sure if he would listen.
    “Yeah?” he asked as he scanned the trees for anything. But when she didn’t answer he turned around and looked at her gently. She seemed to be scared her tanned face was pale and her hands were shaking on the tree she was holding.  It was only a sapling, but either way, she was leaning on it softly, not double over, just supporting herself. He looked at her curiously. “Anna, you all right?”
    She looked up at him, “Hayden, I’m lost.” she strained, “I’ve been wandering around in here for an hour.” she looked away, and he thought so he wouldn’t see her struggle. “I got lost, and then I thought someone was following me. I heard things, twigs snapping, but no one ever came.” she looked up at him, tears at the brim of her eyes sockets. They fell onto his cheeks and something snapped inside of him, it he thought this was enough. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her comfortingly.
    “Please don’t think I’m crazy.”

    “I don’t think you’re crazy.” he said soothingly. And now at this moment, more than ever, Marianne felt his arms around her. They felt like home, only better. What could feel better than home? She didn’t know, but she sunk into it drunkenly and took in deep breaths.
    


    
    
    
    
 

Author's Note

Ignore errors in grammar. Ignore it when it says "Aidan" I'm indicating "Hayden". I always edit my names. xD Stock me full of criticism, advice and any compliments you may have. I'm a young writers so you know what that means, BE HARSH! But I'm sure you already know that. I need all the help I can get.

Reviews

[Forist.johnston]

I thought it was very cute. I wasn't expecting the sudden romance after reading you Bio, but it seems so fitting in this case.

Yeah, I found an Aidan:

"Everyone." stated Tom. Aidan groaned and rubbed his forehead, he drug his hand down his face.

And I know you said you didn't want grammar criticism, but I thought an extra word and a missing word was more bearable then a full out 'You spelt this this and this wrong'.


allowed Never Never Land to swallow her completely. [Extra word]

"Oh God, someone could be dieing, or worse. We have to them." [missing word]

I found some other grammar issues, but I'll spare you. I think this story could be great. If you keep going you could have a blossoming novel in your hands. Great writing. Kudos to you.

-Forist

[fionnaiscool]

I liked it, and you have a good idea behind the story, and yeah the only thing I'll say is edit it, cause I got lost sometimes with the grammer, and spelling, like in the beggining you kept saying sense instead of since, which was pretty confusing. I enjoyed the story, and hope to read more in this series.

Good luck in your writing,
your fellow writer : me...;)