Seeking Comfort in Darkness

The day approaches on the calander

Memories begin to flood my mind

I wish I could go back

Just to see if there was something I missed

My heart aches knowing I'd give anything

Just to go back to you

The tears flow freely down my cheeks

Remembering the last breath you took

Your spirit left leaving your body cold and lifeless

Burying my hands in my face 

My body begins to shake

A flood of overwhelming loss

The grief covers me

Like a heavy blanket

The feeling of a bowl ball

Sits on my chest 

Falling to the floor

I begin to break down

The nurses come

They try to console me

Leading me out of the room

But I cling to your bedside

Looking into your face

Please come back

Don't leave me here alone

Please

Crawling on the bed

I curl in a ball next to you

Wrapping my arms around you

Please just hold me

Tell me it will be ok

Come back

I need you

The nurses call security

They pull me out of the room 

I watch them take your body away

The grief becomes heavier

My back against the wall

I slide down

Feeling empty and broke

A feeling of weakness sweeps over

My body is limp

Like a rag doll

No bones or muscle

I sit in that spot for hours

Not able to move 

An uncomfortable sting 

Burns my eyes

A blanket of darkness covers me

Everything feels so cold

So lifeless

I go home to an empty house

I keep the lights out

Seeking comfort in darkness

Wanting to be alone

I close my eyes

Picturing your warm smile

The soft tone in your voice

The pain in my chest grows deeper

The sobs heavier

Laying on the ground breathless

Please come back

If only it were me

Not you

I would take your place

If I could

I whisper curses

Why her?

Why let her suffer?

Only to die in the end

My day turned to darkness

My summer turned to winter

Sometimes I come to see you

In the times 

When I need you most

Laying across 

Where your body would be

Sultry tears soak the ground

A cold wind blows across my back

Giving me the sensation

Of your hand rubbing to comfort me

Words from my mouth hit the ground

Wishing you could hear me

Longing for your comforting touch

Please

I need you

Reviews

[shallimarRose]

This is a fantastic piece WRose.. So sorrowful and powerful.. I clearly remember reaching in the casket and holding daddy's hand and my uncle grabbing me and taking me away from the viewing room at the funeral home. some things never leave us. I would like to have permission to share this piece.. xo

[FlatLineBeauty]

Of course you may. Thank you Rose. xo Winter

[wordwarrior]

Oh heck Rose, this made me cry. What a wealth of emotion is in this poem. You have laid your soul bare to the reader, expressing such a tragic loss that I can almost feel your heart being squeezed and such pain that is almost unbearable.
Thank you for sharing here. This can't have been easy for you!

[FlatLineBeauty]

No it wasn't too easy. Thank you for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed. xo Winter

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
I well understand and can completely relate to this Rose. Christmastime for many people is happy and joyous occasion. Not necessarily so for me. Some of my happiest memories are being with my Dad on Christmas Day and seeing the look of joy in his face as I open up some beloved gift.

He's gone now. I still don't want to accept this.

Oh, he may not think I was watching, but I did, and as a child, saw the expression on his face. At the time I dismissed the memory as not as important as the toy or gift I received. Today - those memories of being with my Dad and the expression of happiness on his face are more important than all the toys in the world.

Upcoming Christmas will be devastating.

I miss him ... so very terribly much. And reading your poem brings it all back. I would favorite this except that I really don't want to be reminded that he is gone.

I wish I could offer words of comfort here but I find my own self lacking in this ... It's hard enough to write this comment as it is - ok, chest is tightening up, hard to breathe. Relax. It's evening, it's time for tea and bed.

[FlatLineBeauty]

thank you so much for your kind review and I'm sorry to hear about your father -big hugs- If you ever need to talk or need a friend feel free to message me.

[dw817]

I'm to see my doctor today. I had a good cry last night, but my chest hurt when I did. It is not merely a metaphor when someone says sadness hangs heavily over you. It is a crushing weight of oppression and tension. Perhaps - I have never really confronted death before. I doubt still I have.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Such an emotional piece. Very heartfelt.. I'm impressed you were able to write your grief in words pretty well... I just noticed the calendar is wrongly spelled in the first line. Other than that, I have nothing more to criticize. :x

[FlatLineBeauty]

lol thank you. I will fix that here shortly

[Luke L]

Man what an emotional piece, it really feels like you have an addiction to this person. Great stuff. You spelled "calendar" wrong in the first line

[FlatLineBeauty]

o.0 -goes to double check- Ah, yes looks like i did... lol thank you luke

[Mia C.]

This is so sad. This poem definitely describes how I feel. I've lost the greatest friend anyone could ever have. She was the only person I could always talk to.

[FlatLineBeauty]

Awe, I'm sorry to hear that. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me.

[Mia C.]

Thank you so much. I really appreciate it!

[FlatLineBeauty]

You are more than welcome dear. :)

[00000000000000000000000..]

Wow I loved this very much,And I understand the loss of a love 1 or a friend and to me a Father figure.Its not easy when that very person has been there in your life and so many countless memories.I hear some say I have moved on,But I just find it to be breathless at times when I remember or when they aren't there. That was a dear poem full of emotion and the love 1 has in a time.Awesome write 2 thumbs up!

[FlatLineBeauty]

Thank you for taking time to read.

[0000000000000000000000000000]

Your very welcome was worth the time to take the read within.

[melissa]

wonderful piece very powerful

[FlatLineBeauty]

thank you!

[Anand Sehgal]

I wish I could go back
Just to see if there was something I missed

A milestone left behind , is left behind forever.......
There is looking back in our lives. Trust me on that :)

good write

[MoriartyMesa]

Very interesting, I enjoyed this.

[FlatLineBeauty]

thanks bud