Seeking Comfort in Darkness

The day approaches on the calander

Memories begin to flood my mind

I wish I could go back

Just to see if there was something I missed

My heart aches knowing I'd give anything

Just to go back to you

The tears flow freely down my cheeks

Remembering the last breath you took

Your spirit left leaving your body cold and lifeless

Burying my hands in my face 

My body begins to shake

A flood of overwhelming loss

The grief covers me

Like a heavy blanket

The feeling of a bowl ball

Sits on my chest 

Falling to the floor

I begin to break down

The nurses come

They try to console me

Leading me out of the room

But I cling to your bedside

Looking into your face

Please come back

Don't leave me here alone

Please

Crawling on the bed

I curl in a ball next to you

Wrapping my arms around you

Please just hold me

Tell me it will be ok

Come back

I need you

The nurses call security

They pull me out of the room 

I watch them take your body away

The grief becomes heavier

My back against the wall

I slide down

Feeling empty and broke

A feeling of weakness sweeps over

My body is limp

Like a rag doll

No bones or muscle

I sit in that spot for hours

Not able to move 

An uncomfortable sting 

Burns my eyes

A blanket of darkness covers me

Everything feels so cold

So lifeless

I go home to an empty house

I keep the lights out

Seeking comfort in darkness

Wanting to be alone

I close my eyes

Picturing your warm smile

The soft tone in your voice

The pain in my chest grows deeper

The sobs heavier

Laying on the ground breathless

Please come back

If only it were me

Not you

I would take your place

If I could

I whisper curses

Why her?

Why let her suffer?

Only to die in the end

My day turned to darkness

My summer turned to winter

Sometimes I come to see you

In the times 

When I need you most

Laying across 

Where your body would be

Sultry tears soak the ground

A cold wind blows across my back

Giving me the sensation

Of your hand rubbing to comfort me

Words from my mouth hit the ground

Wishing you could hear me

Longing for your comforting touch

Please

I need you

Reviews

[shallimarRose]

This is a fantastic piece WRose.. So sorrowful and powerful.. I clearly remember reaching in the casket and holding daddy's hand and my uncle grabbing me and taking me away from the viewing room at the funeral home. some things never leave us. I would like to have permission to share this piece.. xo

[FlatLineBeauty]

Of course you may. Thank you Rose. xo Winter

[Melobldnfr]

Wow. Heart breaking. Thank you SR for sharing.

[FlatLineBeauty]

Thank you for taking tom to read my work. xo Winter

[Hatchling]

Awesome piece! I loved reading this - Fluttershy

[FlatLineBeauty]

Thank you :)

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

Incredibly affecting piece, your emotion sat on my chest as I read this. I felt all of your emotions entangled in my own from a similar situation. Loss is never easy, you expressed yours here artfully. Sorry to read of your loss, thank you for sharing this piece of yourself. Thanks to shallimar for directing me hear as well.

[FlatLineBeauty]

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my poem. It means a great deal. xo Winter

[Travis Gibson (poetic heroics)]

It was my pleasure.

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem was powerful. I could feel the struggle and desire for some sort of comfort. The poem description took the reader into deep thoughts and I like the way you closed the poem. No weakness in the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[FlatLineBeauty]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking time to read my work. Xo winter

[Jack...]

This poem hit me hard this morning, I will say that I persoanlly did not know this exact feeling, but I do now because of your wonderful work. The pain, the sorrow and the emptiness are so vividly portrayed my chest became heavy as I read. You have written a wonderful piece here. Bravo to you and the heart from which this came.

[FlatLineBeauty]

Thank you so much. I greatly appreciate your kind review. :) xo Winter

[kublakhan27]

This is such a powerful and heart-wrenching piece, and all too real for me...as you can see by the reviews, it's real to many of its readers...in my case, it's my Dad who I lost last year...not only is this scene nearly identical to the one I experienced, but it's close to the poem I wrote about it...this is certainly a piece I will keep in my library...I hope you were able to gain some solace in writing it.

[FlatLineBeauty]

Thank you so much. I'm sorry for your father's loss. It's never easy to lose someone so close. If you ever need to talk, I'm here.

[kublakhan27]

You're most welcome, and I extend the same sentiments to you.

[Rosaria_V]

This was so beautiful to read and just wonderfully written. Very powerful!

[FlatLineBeauty]

Thank you so much for reading Rosaria. :)

[Rosaria_V]

Awww anytime :)

[Keith]

Amazing write Amanda! We lived through that with you, so real for those of us who had had to face inconsolable grief. You touch every one of our senses and this is so powerful..
"
The tears flow freely down my cheeks
Remembering the last breath you took
Your spirit left leaving your body cold and lifeless
Burying my hands in my face
My body begins to shake
A flood of overwhelming loss
The grief covers me
Like a heavy blanket
The feeling of a bowl ball
Sits on my chest "

Thanks to ShallimarRose for sending me over.

[FlatLineBeauty]

Thank you!

[ron]

This brings back memories of when My grandmother died. I was in the active Army and we were going to Honduras when Regan sent us. I was not allowed to take emergency leave to go to her funeral. I had and still have the same feelings as you do only I had to have them from a distance. I still cant get the nerve to go see her. I feel like i betrayed her some how.

[FlatLineBeauty]

Awe I'm sorry about that Ron. Thank you for your review -hugs-

[ron]

Your welcome and thank you.

[Riding the Rainbow]

This piece touched my heart, my pain and my soul.

[FlatLineBeauty]

Thank you for reading.