The Rest of her Thoughts

The Rest of her Thoughts

She watches him carefully, eyes roaming over her body, his face.. She watches him, memorizing his movements, his gait, his body language. The way he moves when he talks, the way his hands move as he talks.. the way his lips move when he talks. He forms words beautifully. Every word delicately falling from his lips, each carefully chosen to the precise meaning he wants to convey, to whomever he speaks to. He moves with grace, light on his feet. His eyes changing, and the way they light up when he smiles. When he smiles.. oh when he smiles. His entire face lights up. The room he is in, lights up. Everything seems brighter, and darkness fades. He was a broken soul. You could see it in his eyes if you looked close enough. There was a pain there.. An indescribable pain, you could never relate to. The only way to truly understand is if you allowed yourself, for one moment to be specifically in his place, and even then.. You would only understand a minuscule piece of what he has felt. He talks when he feels he needs to, although he is perfectly content with keeping to himself. His intelligence, A strong part of him, Yet he feels as though it isn't as extraordinary as others describe him to be. He is quick to learn and understand, if given the time and patience that is required to absorb knowledge. He is not thee easiest person, most would say stubborn, or hardheaded, but she would call him, Knowledgeable. His is often right, and seeing as he knows himself above all people, he knows what is to be done when things go wrong. Life has not been good to him, and he was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Everything he has, he has had to work for, and nothing given to him. Nothing has been easy. It never has been, but he gets through it, with himself as a guide. He has no need for others, and as much as he fears being alone, he does so well enough, even with all the help he could ever need, he would still do better off alone. He lives inside his mind, his thoughts, his rational thoughts, theories, and realities. Everything is nothing but facts and actualities, nothing but the honest truth. He had an analytical sort of brain. No room for imagination, all the more room for second guessing and overthinking.

He worries her. She doesn't know his thoughts no matter how much she wishes she did, or thinks she does. The only thing she knows is what he decides to tell her. Shes stubborn, just as stubborn as he. She wants to know the the worst things he has ever done, and wants to be able to tell him that she still loves him. She sees the changes in him. Its harder for him to smile. He no longer smiles with his eyes, but rather smiles with his mouth, an abrupt change that has her worrying. He laughs, but his laughs are short, He no longer laughs and continuously laughs even as it becomes inappropriate. Every change in subject, whether it be good or bad, always resorts in the worst of feelings, and neither one of them can pretend it hadn't happened. However long they pretend nothings wrong, everything is wrong, and everything is falling apart starting with him. She worries endlessly from her perch far away, helpless, as a bird with a broken wing. She is a dove. Doves are smart, the fly above the branches of the highest of trees and perch waiting out the danger. But this Dove stays low, watching and waiting, just in case he falls back and needs her to guide. He holds himself high though, and her constant waiting is pointless because above all else, he will always look out for himself and protect himself, even if he is protecting him from himself. She waits, not knowing what to do, before realizing there is absolutely nothing that can be done. Her imagination and her hope still surpasses everything, and every night she still wishes and hopes that everything will be okay once more. Her wish. her one wish, the wish that's supposed to come true because its one of the biggest points in a persons life, she used on him. Yet the opposite has happened. She wished that everything would be alright, that his life would become easier as time went on but yet, everything is falling, every sense of security he has is ripped away from him, and the most she can do is say, "I am sorry." There is no comfort. There is no touch. There is no security. There are only words, and lines of apologies, and broken promises of a better life. This is where she fails. It is simply how it goes. 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the journey and the thoughts in the story.
"I am sorry." There is no comfort. There is no touch. There is no security. There are only words, and lines of apologies, and broken promises of a better life. This is where she fails. It is simply how it goes. "
The above is true for many. We land in bad places that cannot be repaired. A powerful tale with a sad ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote