Lost Love

A Story by Winter

To be loved and broken

15th March 1898

My dear friend,

It has been five years since I have gone missing. I owe you infinite amounts of apologies for everything I had put you through. Several times I have taken up my pen and write to you to tell you I am alive. However, there were dark shadows that prevented me from completing and sending a letter to you. It would had endangered you greatly if I had told you that I was still somewhere on this earth.

I know that you must be wondering what sort of vile act must require me to disappear from you. Men of both law and chaos are hunting me for some deed that I had not committed. They thought you were involved in it as well but I had somehow managed to clear your name but not mine. I thank God for protecting you. I cannot bare to think of you being killed for my sake. At the same time, it breaks my heart to see you suffer from my necessary cruelty but I rather see you alive than dead.

There are also a few more things I would like to go through with you. I want to apologise the times where I took you for granted. I know sometimes it hurts you but I want you to know that I truly cherish our friendship. You never left my side even though I tried to push you away. You stood beside me no matter what hell did I put you through. I...

There were several scratches of ink, blotting anything that was once legible.

Oh, to hell with this...I have fallen in love with you my dear. Yes, you had read it correctly: the man whom you describe as cold, calculative and callous has fallen in love with his only friend. I am currently miserable without you. I miss those beautiful bright eyes that sparkle. I miss your sweet laughter that lights up my bleak world. I miss your presence beside me. I miss you. I know it is impossible for a person like me to love a person like you. I admire your lion like courage, your stubborn loyalty, your gentle heart.

I know my feelings will not be returned but I needed you to know that I truly cherish you with all my heart. My time here without you made me come to a conclusion: loneliness is the very worst human sin. It makes your heart ache, longing for some companionship. I miss you.

Look at me, I'm being so melodramatic. My dear, move on without me. Do not let me hold you back. Please look for someone else; someone who is warmer, kinder, gentler. Someone who is capable of giving the life and love you truly deserve. Forget about me. The friendship with you has already made me happy. Now it is your turn to make yourself happy which will make me the happiest man in the world.

Unfortunately, I have to end my letter here. Do not worry about me. I'll be fine. No matter what happens, you will always be in my heart.

I love you.

Yours truly

Clark Winter

A small tear dropped on the letter. Suddenly, there were several tears falling that threaten to smudge away the writings. A small anguish cry left his mouth as his hands trembled, the piece paper fluttering on the cold hard floor. The man gripped onto the cold body that sat limply in the chair. He looked into its eyes. Cloudy grey eyes stared back at him, never to move, never to see, never to glitter. A sob wracked through him as he hugged the body of his once and always beloved.

"You foolish man, I love you too,"