Chapter Two

in which Kyra goes to town

The hawk cruised the skies, powerful and imposing, sending thrushes and other small birds darting out of the way to try and escape it’s claws. Sharp eyes focused in on a moving shape in the forest below, and the small streamlined head looked down; a human, the hawk noticed, and tilted its wings to catch the next gust of warm air. It was looking for smaller prey, and turned into the westerly wind. He knew there was still time before the Master would call him back, and with a graceful stroke of his large wings, the hawk travelled through the sky. He was leagues away from the human now - they always managed to scare the prey - and shifted his wings so glide slowly closer to the earth. What was this? More movement in the trees caught the hawk’s eye and he focused his gaze. Wolves.

The pack had begun to move again, entirely unaware of the air-borne hunter scrutinising them from the sky. The wolves rain with poise; strong, elegant and silent, their paws seemed to fly across the ground, tails curled upwards in excitement, pink tongues lolling between sharp white teeth. Keen eyes searched the trees, and ears flicked at the nearest sound of danger. These forests were teaming with prey, the wolves’ sensitive noses told them, but the pack wasn’t about to stop. They were on the hunt for something different: it was time to find their missing alpha.

 

*

 

Kyra stepped out of the trees and onto the dirt track created by years of horse-drawn carts rumbling along the ground. She begrudgingly walked forwards, scuffled leather boots dragging in the dust as she made towards the town. It wasn’t long before she began to hear a murmur on the wind, and Kyra realised that she would be able to see the town as soon as she rounded the next bend. People; the first thought that came into Kyra’s mind, and it made her palms go sweaty with nervousness.

She set her bag down behind a tree and rummaged through it, finally pulling out a woollen cloak with a large hood. It wouldn’t be so suspicious to walk through town with the hood up, hiding her face. Travellers who stopped in the Inn for the night did it all the time, and some of the women who worked nights. Kyra pulled the cloak around her, tying it in a neat knot by her neck and pulled up the hood so it shadowed her face.

Kyra continued along the dirt track until she had come around the bend, and stopped to look at the sight at the bottom of the hill. The town was splayed out, mostly in the valley, in a common, circular fashion with the Church and square in the centre. It was a relatively small town, with a market place and a single row of shops. Even from up here, the biggest building was easily identifiable as the Horseshoe Inn. Kyra glanced up to where the ground rose again and saw the small castle perched on the opposite hill, the Lord’s crest flying from the single turret.

Taking a steadying breath, Kyra dragged her eyes from the castle that seemed to look down on the town below, and made her way down the hill. The slow murmur of the town she had heard before was becoming loud and boisterous; it became the hollers of street venders, women bantering with one another and calling down from windows. In the background, Kyra made out the steady chink, chink, chink of a blacksmith at work, and somewhere near by, a donkey bayed.

She walked casually past a bakery and through the town square where an old man was preaching the doom that witches would bring with them.

“It will be the end of us all!” he cried, but Kyra just rolled her eyes and ignored him. She drifted past the Horseshoe Inn - quite quiet at this time of day - and wound her way towards the market place. A small smile she’d been holding back was appearing on Kyra’s face; she couldn’t help but be elated to be back with human company, even if she preferred it this was and was going unnoticed.

Just then, Kyra looked up, and the smile was wiped off her face as Kyra’s heart gave a nasty jolt. Standing alone off to one side, surrounded by a metal fence that Kyra wondered whether was for keeping people out or in, was a tall crooked black and while building. It seemed ominous and uninviting; regarding the rest of the town will cold spite.  Tied to the metal gate in front of the house was a wooden sign. It read:

 

Fellgaerhle Home for Orphans and changelings

 

Fellgaerhle was the name of the town; ‘and changelings’ had been scratched into the sign only after Kyra had arrived at the orphanage. Kyra had never known why it had been written, but seeing the sign again made bile rise in her throat as anger and fear flared up in her. She had to tell herself repeatedly that no one would recognise her before Kyra could continue on; she dragged her eyes away from the orphanage and walked away, uncomfortably aware of the building as she turned away from it.

She made it to the market place, which at this time of day was bustling with people - uying, selling, and trading. Animals were everywhere, and now and again the scent of fish would wind its way through the crowd from the fishmonger’s stall. Kyra began her work; she slipped a hand in someone’s pocket, pinched a few coins from off a counter, weaving through the crowd unnoticed. Although it was a way of life Kyra despised, she came to realise that somehow, she was quite good at picking pockets.

But she wasn’t going as unnoticed as she thought, and wasn’t the only one to come to that conclusion. Leaning against a nearby building, shrouded in shadow, someone narrowed their eyes hungrily as they watched the hooded thief’s every more. He watched them make their way down the street, unaware of the sharp eyes following. His mouth split into a rare smile, full of malice, and after a moment he pushed himself away from the building and slunk after the thief as they made their way towards the town square. Once he could get them alone…

Reviews

[patricia]

First paragraph, nice and tight ...your economical use of words was effective, descriptions were excellent.
Second paragraph, again ..the descriptions were well done. This is fast moving, and interesting.
Great insights about the wearing of her hood.
As they say detail is everything and you have nailed this.
I liked the way you brought the town to life with your people observations and introducing the blacksmith sounds made it even richer.
You did a great job showing rather than telling the old man preaching with your use of dialogue in the present tense.
Excellent the way you portrayed the sign.
The real action comes just at the right time with the pick pocket stuff.
You have it all with this chapter, and I am certain the work will mature with the odd stroke here and there as your imagination goes deeper into the work.
Enjoyed.

[Storm K.]

Thank you so much, Trish! I'm glad you enjoyed it, and hope you continue reading! :)

[The Fallen]

Oooo Why was the name Changlings scratched into the sign?! Im really curious as to the next chapter!!! I can't wait!! Post it soon!!!!

[Storm K.]

Hahaha, don't worry, all will be revealed! Posting it now :)

[Ella]

Attempt two to post this -.-'
To me, this made no sense, so if this is whst you meant what you wanted, maybe try to reword it. "He was leagues away from the human now - they always managed to scare the prey - and shifted his wings so glide slowly closer to the earth."
If I was writing this, I would be people in quotation marks, remove the semicollan and all a comma. "People; the first thought that came into Kyra’s mind, and it made her palms go sweaty with nervousness."
Indent this paragraph "“It will be the end of us all!” he cried, but Kyra just rolled her eyes and ignored him."
She drifted past the Horseshoe Inn - quite quiet at this time of day - and wound her way towards the market place. A small smile she’d been holding back was appearing on Kyra’s face; she couldn’t help but be elated to be back with human company, even if she preferred it this was and was going unnoticed."
Move, not more. "Leaning against a nearby building, shrouded in shadow, someone narrowed their eyes hungrily as they watched the hooded thief’s every more."

Ella's advice time before my opinion on this piece. I was just thinking that the last paragraph you kind of switched perspectives. Though it is all in third person, I find that it was mostly from the girls point of view and it kind of went into the guys point of view for the last paragraph. It just kind of threw me off.
Another thing I would suggest is since this is the beginning chapter(s), I would add those extra words. Instead of saying just a wool cloak, say a red doll cloak or whatever colour you want it to you. Help tell the story just adding those details for now so we can get a better image for it.

Anyways, I still love this. It is an amazing write, I love the details again, the way it is written and just how it flows. I am going to have to cut this short though, I have to go help other writers XD

[Storm K.]

Thanks again for the review, and for the advice. Most of the things you're saying in your first paragraph are editorial grammar/spelling details I didn't notice, so I can edit them fairly quickly and hopefully then things back sense :)

[Ella]

Alright, I wanted to make sure that was the case, because I am confused easily XD I'm glad you actually appreciate my advice, so thank you :)

[Storm K.]

Fair enough, I get confused easily to - and apparently I make quite a few spelling mistakes when I'm writing too fast :P No worries, your advice really helps!

[Ella]

Lol, I make spelling mistakes allthe time, so trust me, I get it XD
Good :)

[Dark Rider]

Love it! The only mistakes I could see was you used quotation marks in some places where you should have put a dash or comma. Other than that, it was awesome!

[Storm K.]

thank you! And yes, I've noticed those - I do put a dash there, but I think some where in the transition between copying from a word document and putting it on here they change to quotation marks :S

[Dark Rider]

That's fine. I just didn't know what they were doing there. But it is still a great story.

[Storm K.]

haha, I get confused by them too. And thanks, I really appreciate the review (and I really mean that, it's not like I get many :P)

[Dark Rider]

Well, I see if I can't get some of my friends to read this. :)

[Storm K.]

really? :') That's so nice, you're a star!

[Dark Rider]

No problem. You're really good and more people should know about you. :)

[Ella]

I will get my friends to read this too, it is great and that isn't something I say often XD

[Dark Rider]

Thanks, Ella.

[Ella]

Hey, she is an amazing writer :)

[Dark Rider]

*nods*

[Storm K.]

:3 You guys are way too nice.

[Dark Rider]

We are only stating the truth.

[Ella]

Trust me, if you sucked, we would tell you XD

[Dark Rider]

*nods, again*