Better

"But if I kiss you where it's sore, will you feel better... will you feel anything at all?"

For someone who defines herself:

Writer

I feel like I spend a lot of time

searching.

For words.

They don’t come as easily

As they once did.

I miss…

When things made sense.

There was a time

I thought

I had all the answers.

Now I feel like I have none.

There is so much I could be handling better

This year.

I could be so much

Better.

I used to be

Better.

Now I keep secrets.

Now

I lock myself in my room

And bleed out my insecurities.

Now I tell lies.

Now

I make up stories

Even when a friend asks me directly

About the blood.

I thought college

Was supposed to help you figure yourself out.

But my classes just make me question

Everything that’s happened thus far.

And how I could ever be so stupid.

I wish I knew

What I know now

Before I ever got into a relationship.

But maybe I wouldn’t have understood as well?

I do understand

That I lost

Pieces

Of myself.

Because no one ever taught me

How not to give them away.

No one ever taught me

What

Love

Looks like.

So I’m stumbling around in the dark

Of misguidance

And misuse

Asking

Is this love?

Is that?

But maybe I gave away

Some crucial part of me.

The part that can love.

Maybe love is sitting right in front of me

Offering himself

Herself

To me.

In exchange for my brokenness.

Maybe we could put each other back together.

But I’m too scared

of getting hurt again.

There was a time I was strong

Or maybe it was just my walls

That were strong.

Author's Note

Again, is this poetry? How's the emotion, how's the imagery? Please know that I'm not trying to write words soaked in pain alone, so if it's coming across that way let me know. And of course any other comments you have are welcome. Thanks.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like the theme of this...one suggestion is the blood imagery/metaphor...you carry it through two stanzas, but maybe bring it back at the end.
Mainly with poetry it is important to be cohesive---use only as many words as needed to express an idea, and in doing so...when imagery, allegory, or metaphor is used...instead of just reading like a list of them, have them connect all the way through the poem.

i used to use them randomly and an editor of a magazine in a rejection pointed that out to me.

you have lots of good lines, imagery etc.

just work on tightening up...carrying through...and you are spot on.

And yes, this is poetry, for sure.

j.

[standupdontcry]

This is poetry - this is art. The emotions are erratic and make me feel like ocean currents. Thank you for such a piece, my dear. Happy writing!

[White Raven]

Thanks for the review! I really appreciate it. :D

[Mitchell Savage]

Yes, it's definitely poetry. Poetry, in my opinion, is simply the conveyance of feelings, moments, secret things, in an artistic way. It serves to let people know that those thoughts and feelings that they don't share with others are not so strange after all. When done properly, not too much, not too little, I think it's a beautiful way to let people know that they're not alone. Well done.

[JBoone]

This is poetry. The imagery is good. It is filled with pain but I feel like it is more a poem about discovery and trying to find answers. I think you ask questions and struggle with things that everyone has to try to figure out. Good job with this. I am excited to read more from you.

[White Raven]

Thank you so much!