I Remember

Just how it was...

I Remember

My Mom and Dad, sisters and brothers, one big family all together.  Dad ruled the roost, Mom raised us kids, that is just the way life is. (Or so I believed)

 

I Remember

I wanted all that, those were my dreams, my goals in life there was no need for college.  I jumped at my chance.  A ready made family with more to come.  I thought, this is it, this is what I want. Married with children, my life complete and years went by.

 

I Remember

A partnership is what I had, or so I thought, it ended up a prison with no love lost.  It wasn't how I had imagined.  Arguments and problems constant and at times severe had my children and I sad, unhappy and usually in tears.  My main concern, my children so young not understanding why Mommy and Daddy couldn't get along.

 

I Remember

Always wondering if there was more.  If my hopes and dreams had been confused, If I'd made a mistake, if I was being used.  If living that life was best for my kids, if leaving their dad they would ever forgive. My life in turmoil, things changing all around.  Lost in confusion, no answers to be found.

 

I Remember

I tried to change, I tried to honor, I tried to believe it would be better tomorrow.  I worried and fretted, I cried and I pleaded yet nothing seemed to matter.  I tried to  imagine to no avail what life would be like out of this hell.  I had finally lost all that was me, I was now just a shell.

 

I Remember

The day I deceided this all must end.  I felt relieved yet  really scared.  I didn't know what the future held.  I only knew it would not be here in this jail.  The judge ruled DIVORCE DECREED, an ugly word, an ugly need.

 

I Remember

Standing alone, newly single and scared.  Wondering what now?  What was going to happen? What of my children, would they ever be happy?  I knew in my heart I did the right thing, but it wouldn't be easy. Only time would tell.

 

I Remember

 

5/328/08  Windy

Author's Note

Please excuse punctuation etc. This may be the first in a series of three (?) not sure yet, hasn't come to me.

Reviews

[Bear]

"I Remember" ~~ what a fine write!! Seems to be the way of the American life these years; marriage, children, divorce when the team-work isn't happening at all anymore~~ some are "lucky" to find their "soul-mate" and realize from the start that a team effort is the only way to make the marriage last a lifetime. Some of us are blessed with parents that have stayed together their team strong from the giving of one to the other equally. I have yet to cross paths with someone who wanted to take the time to make the team complete so, I continue on as one but, hum... I ain't "heart ache lonely" so, I'll just keep on moving right along with an with my heart and soul open to a change if the right soul crosses my path.
Thanks for sharing this write!! Good stuff! Sallie Bear

[Barbara Walker]

This is so descriptive and your words are amazing at telling how these steps come about in a woman's life. I think there was a time frame that caught some of us in-between, we weren't women's libbers per se, but we also knew there had to be more than we were getting in our relationships. I know many women will identify with this peace. It's perfect!
Barbara

[Mr. Lopez]

The structure of this poem is outstanding. The progression of life events that turn dreams to nightmares is so wonderfully displayed, allowing your readers to feel the highs and the lows right along with you . What a great idea although a simple one, I thought it to be brilliant.
Mr. Lopez

[Poeticme]

this is beautiful...I often write about my family too..and heartache as well..you are truly a wonderful write,,and I appreciate the reality in your writing...from the heart,true life..it doesnt get better than that...kudos to you my friend:-)

[Donna DeLong Matthews a..]

Oh so much truth here my friend. I remember such a like story of my own life. Will they ever forgive? No it seems not, but then they do dont remember that the abuse started to turn toward them and that was the final straw that broke this camels back. Regrets? yes there are many but none about the decision to get out. The family foundation today is not what it was when we were children. A dream that I am afraid is lost forever. My feeling on this I could write a book on. LOL

This even tho a tragic write of the normalicies of the times in which we now live was wonderfully done. Which took me back to a time I was forced to remember and it was a good thing. I really love your, what I call, actual life writes.

I will be back my friend. With being back a work time does not allow me as much computer time as I would
like. My favorite saying "Life gets in the way of my living"...

Have a blessed day my friend
Hope to get back here tonight

Hugs
Donna

[westerfanaddict]

I love this. This story holds allot of emotion and you're quite brave posting your life struggles, as you see my page is bare, I am still working on the braveness. I like the rhythm to it, even being a story, you have a certain beat to your writing.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Interesting and thought provoking peice. It seems to ask a question that I asked many long married couples many years ago. They told me the secret to a long marriage is to accept that it is not out God-given right to be happy 24-7. They told me that no one is happy 24-7. I found that to be interesting advice and I never re-married.

Technically, I thought that ...

"... had myself and my children sad, unhappy and usually in tears."

... should have been ...

"... had my children and I sad, unhappy and usually in tears."

[Bradly]

Awe man divorce is so horrible, it ruins so many lives. This is quite a significant piece for me, since my own parents divorced when I was young. But I'm happy to say that it all worked out for the best and my siblings and I are getting on just fine as the last of us is about to leave school. Divorce is terrible yes, but it does not necessarily mean the end of happiness, we were just blessed to have a mother like the one we did.

[BenightedWhispers]

What a beautifully sad poem. Great emotion and creative words. Keep it up.

[HeyMisterBlue]

sweet and sad poem, very nice :)
at least we live in a time when divorce is acceptable.
in other places, in other times, such a word, well, death might be more welcome.
one wonders about those people and how tough they were to cope and hang in and sacrifice themselves for their children. Yes, divorced I've been too, but married again to an angel. Couldn't be happier. I learned a lot about love. Sometimes we think we're in love but we aren't. And sometimes the opposite is true. lol
Good luck.