ROSES

A pleasant sight (in nature).

ROSES:

Delicate

Slight Stems

Gentle Scent

Small Buds

Slowly Blooming

 

ROSES:

Vibrant

Strong Strudy Stems

Sweet Aroma

Full Blooms

Petals Soft As Velvet

Open To The Sun

 

ROSES:

Irresistable

Reach Out

Smell, Touch

THORNS!

Droplets Of Blood

From Pricked Fingertips

And Then...

As If In Punishment

SNIP!

Short Stems

Stripped Of Thorns

Petals Falling To The Ground

Wilting

Aroma Fading

 

ROSES:

Once Alive And Thriving In Nature

Sadly Now Dying

ROSES NO MORE.

 

5/24/08  Windy

Author's Note

Had a lot of trouble with this one so any "help" is appreciated.

Reviews

[The Autumn Faerie]

I like it. It kind of reminds me of Le Petit Prince:


"You're lovely, but you're empty," he went on. "One couldn't die for you. Of course an ordinary passerby would think my rose looked just like you. But my rose, all on her own, is more important than you altogether, since she's the one I've watered. Since she's the one I put under glass. Since she's the one I sheltered behind a screen. Since she's the one for whom I killed the caterpillars (except for two or three for butterflies). Since she the one I listened to when she complained, or when she boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing at all. Since she's my rose."

[Lyra H]

Brilliant visual imagery here. An interesting flow, short phrases, but that's all you need. Excellently done.

[[untitled]]

Nicely written, describing the sadness of how "things" die sooner when taken from their natural existence.
Thank you for sharing

[WoFer]

it works, it is a bit bumpy in flow.
maybe a comprassion paragrapgh, compare the rose to yourself, and why you feel the same way or something.
I see what you are saying it is missing something, again maybe something to make the rose like a feeling, or a person, or a metaphore might even work.

[closed account]

I think it was great! I don't know you were able to come up with so many adj, about Roses, You put alot of thought into this!!

[emz]

My mam always said she loved roses... but not in a vase... the rose is portrayed in so many ways... life, love. death and tears... you captured all of that here... and just as the rose is in its glory, it is cut to its death, but not without a fight.. i loved this.

[Legion]

So the rose turns. Sad as it comes to the end, but true.