TOBY

For my Grandson Toby, as beautiful today as the day he was born.

Ten little fingers

Ten tiny toes

Pink and perfect

Cute button nose

 

His Mama's eyes

His Daddy's ears

Hearts full of love

Our eyes fill with tears

 

This beautiful gift

beyond compare

We're ever so thankful

for this baby so dear

Author's Note

Please excuse errors, but would appreciate comments.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

One word.... BEAUTIFUL.

Another few words (cos I talk too much!) ... you've used a style you seem to be happy in... and it's great. There's a rhythm as you read.. and, consequently, your words flow so well.

You might have made the final two lines into four somehow, slightly altering the words, omitting this or that

This beautiful gift
Quite beyond compare,
We're truly thankful
For the baby dear.

Not sure about that... could do with another couple of words, but it moves with your previous lines' meter.


As to the theme... its's perfect, isn't it!

Thank you, thank you for sharing.

[closed account]

very cute poem, my sister just became a grandma I am sure she can relate to this poem... great job and nice sentiment to your grandchild!!!

[WoFer]

I am a parent so I can certainly connect to it. good over all flow and pace. I would like to see some more unquie discrition in the poem. it is titled Toby. so maybe a verse or two about funny cute thing toby does, or looks like or whatever. just to give it it's own breath.
the poem is sound, but I bet you can add a little more toby in there for us to get to know

[emz]

you can almost feel the excitement of the parents here... lovely piece x

[Legion]

Yea, he is a bundle of joy. :) Love the poem too. You can feel the love. Going in favorites. Of course, I'm biased as well. LOL

[Samuel Dickens]

I'm not a poetry expert, but I like it. I have a little grandaughter, so I understand your feelings of love. Very well-expressed, I'd say, Windy! Sam