Vicious Cycle

A Poem by Amy Whetzell

Written in August 2015

Trembling
My entire being trembles
This kind of pain doesn't end
Its a lifetime's worth of mourning
Every moment

I let myself get convinced
That he didn't love me
That I mattered nothing at all to him
So I committed an unforgivable act
Regretting 5 minutes in,
Realizing I love him more
Than I know how to understand

I deserve every ounce of unhappiness
I had everything
I destroyed it
Just me
The facilitators do not matter
The convincers do not matter
The participants do not matter
Only he matters

He deserves everything
Everything that I am not
Everything that I cannot provide.
I hope he finds his true happiness
And gets as far away from the
Negativity that surrounds him
As he possibly can

A love like ours
Comes too rarely
When its broken
Its broken