Prologue

The prologue to "Koudelka and the Dawning Awakening"

 

Koudelka and the Dawning Awakening

Prologue

 It was a warm summer’s night that evening in the city of Alcara. The nightlife of the large city was definitely booming, just like it always is during the summer, hell even in the winter it is just like this. People walked in the streets and on the sidewalks, thinking that the night couldn’t get any better than it is already. No random crime has happened so far tonight.

But, unbeknownst to the people in Alcara, in a deserted warehouse known to be a hideout for criminals, something odd was occurring. One escaped convict, convicted on a count of murder, was sitting in a chair, looking out the window. He watched the people and smiled a crooked grin, before taking out his sharp, trusty knife. He was the only one in the dark room. He looked down at his sharpened steel and smiled.

“Once I know the police are off my trail, then I can go back to stealin’ and all that junk…” He whispered hoarsely.

Then, something in the shadows moved and something was knocked over. The man jumped at the sound and stood up out of his chair. With widened eyes he looked around the room. Nothing in the room, the cardboard box on the box shelf was now on the floor. He narrowed his eyes and sat back down.

“Damn cats…this place in infested with ‘em,” He growled.

Then, another strange noise occurred; a skittering sound on the wooden floor and a deep growl that sounded almost like a moan. The man looked over at the shaded corner again, his knife pointed at the corner this time. His eyes were wide and he could feel his palms sweating.

“Stop it you morons! You can’t scare me…” He shouted.

The room fell back into silence. The man’s eyes shifted about the room but he could see nothing. The light from outside lit up the room a little, but there were still shadows lingering in the room that could easily hide a trickster. But…if it was one of the criminals sticking low in this house, he or she would’ve shown themselves by now. It might’ve also been a rat or maybe a cat. Tons of animals also call this warehouse their home.

The man quickly glanced around the room once more before sitting down in the chair. He had his knife still in a striking position, just incase he were to be jumped by a fellow former inmate. He took a deep breath, eyes not leaving the shadows.

But then, the skittering came from behind him, a louder moan from behind came The man stood up and looked behind him, eyes widening in fear. Before he could scream or attack, the darkness came over his face and took him in, as if it were a blanket or he became apart of it.

Author's Note

-Please ignore grammar errors
-Constructive criticism, please.
-No flames
-Enjoy!

Reviews

[cquig]

You know what I liked most about your prologue? I had to read it a second time because there was something very interesting that caught my attention. The second time I read it I read it aloud but in a soft voice. Your entire prologue is like one long poem. It's fantastic. It hooked me, so now I am off to read the first chapter. Very well done and unique.

[Renee Hubert]

Good hook for a novel : ) I like the conversational voice.
I'm interested to see what happens to this character or if the same thing happens to other people or, well, there are a number of possibilities, it's great!
In revision, I suggest rethinking using the same word twice in one sentence or paragraph, like "the cardboard box on the box shelf", just because it can take a person out of the story. And consider condensing sentences such as in the beginning, "It was a warm summer's night that evening in the city of Alcara." to "It was a warm summer evening in the city of Alcara."
Keep writing!

[Skyman]

Very nice, the cliffhanger got me hooked on it. I hope to see more from you :]