Innocence...

When It turns away...

It starts when It's young.

Fresh, soft warm,

And carefree.

The shadows come together and plot.

Envious of the pure

They pull back the string

Nock the arrow

And strike.

The arrow makes its mark.

It falls, like an animal to the hunter,

Liquid gushing from a mortal wound.

Surrounding It in a shell,

The moist hardens,

And It climbs weakly to its feet.

Shadows, indignant, grab more weapons from the quiver

And shoot mindlessly, ruthlessly.

And so the cycle begins.

Run forward a couple years.

There is no soft left on the outside, nothing warm at all

For the shadows accomplished their plan.

Now all is left is a hard shell to see

Nothing can penetrate it now

But the shadows know

When the time is right

And It turns away

They can draw the bow one last time...

Author's Note

Please be honest. This is a poem I just wrote out of the blue in English class one day, so I'm not expecting it to be super good or super bad.

Reviews

[Kalea Barger]

I really enjoyed this. Your use of personification with both the shadows and innocence brought the situation alive, it made innocence somehow seem even more vulnerable. Your syntax and where you decided to break up different lines builds a strong emphasis on the most impactful lines and situations in your poem. I think the topic is something everybody can relate to, and your ability to compare the loss of innocence so strongly to a hunter and its prey makes the subject even more universal and well understood. Your imagery is spot on, I can picture the wound and the shell, the shadows drawing their bow. Very impressive.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right.
"It starts when It's young.
Fresh, soft warm,
And carefree.
The shadows come together and plot."
The days of being young and hopeful. Slowly killed-off, leaving us cold and alone. Powerful use of words and thoughts. I enjoyed them.
Coyote

[AllauraRose]

When people are hurt they start to lose that childlike innocence and see the world as it is. You did a great job of explaining it, and it was very well written! The first time can happen at such a young age, especially today. Then as you get older, if you are used as a punching bag, you start to harden letting no one in. I love this poem, amazing work!

[Peregrinator7]

Thank you!

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Deep beneath the hard was lies unexposed and bare the innocence we all seek out there but blinded by the ways that some allow to become out of control ...wonderful comparison,very unique🌹

[Peregrinator7]

Thank you! I appreciate the review!

[‘Thoughts In Time’🌹]

My pleasure🌹

[Locke Redwyne (night sy..]

ooooooooooooooooooh that's really good i like it. I like how you don't specify what It is, which makes the poem very mysterious. I like it. Very sad also.