Love And The Three-Toed Kitten

Love and The Three-Toed Kitten

The young man entered the livingroom to talk to Mr. And Mrs. Green, the famous comic duo, and the parents of the daughter he was in love with.

“Mr. And Mrs. Green, I’m here because I would like to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage,” he explained softly.

“We know how our Linda feels about you, Jack, but do you love her enough for the commitment a marriage requires?” Mrs. Green asked the young man.

“Of course I do.”

“Well, our daughter’s hand in marriage is not enough. The rest of her comes with that hand, young man. The arms, legs, head and runny nose from allergies.  Everything,” Mr. Green told the nervous young man.

“Harold is kidding, of course. But realistically, it means all of her, from the corny jokes she tells to the laughter and sometimes tears, And the mutual trust and respect for each other is going to be very important when thing don’t go as planned for you,” her mother told him.

“And the messy bathroom sink, belches, burps and occasional fart,”  Harold added.

“And in-laws who can turn anything into a comedy routine?”

“That, too,” Harold added, chuckled, then asked him, “You’re not planning to become a comic, are you?”

“Oh, no. I’m a writer, but not naturally funny like your daughter.”

“Well, we can’t all be perfect but, as a husband, you better come close,” Sarah Green said teasingly, then added, “If our Linda loves you and is willing to put up with you, much like I’ve had to do with Harold all these years, you have our blessings.

“Thank you both, but I really wasn’t sure what your answer would be because we haven’t known each all that long.”

“We said yes, so you shouldn’t press your luck, buddy,” Mr. Green said in a tone of voice Jack wasn’t sure was a joke.

“Harold is teasing again, Jack. But that you volunteered two years of your life, like our daughter did, for the Peace Corps says a lot about your character. That, and she trusted you enough to tell you the whole story about the three-toed kitten.”

“As far as we know, you’re the only person she’s told the whole story to,” Harold added, as he motioned for Jack to sat in the armchair across from them.

“Thank you both, but Linda must have told you the story,” Jack replied after he was seated.

“Of course, but from a loving, impulsive eight year old girl’s version of it.”

“I’ll do my best, but I didn’t know Linda that well when she told me the story. She was and still is, as you well know, a Veterinarian and we happened to be assigned to the same Peace Corps unit in Amazon Rain Forest. I was a translator and writing the narrative for a documentary about agriculturalists trying to convey the benefits of crop rotations to the local farmers. During a heavy rainfall we were pretty much restricted to our tents or the common group tent used for meeting or dinner,” Jack began, while wondering if her parents wanted this much detail. Still, he continued, ”and Linda told her Uncle Rich owned a pet shop.”

“My brother Richard, and he still operates it,” Sarah informed Jack.

“Let the man finish, woman!” Harold teased her.

“I didn’t mind the family information, but while we were drinking poorly brewed coffee she told me she decided to become a Vet because of that three-toed kitten and how she had to fight like hell to save it.”

“Richard started to open up shop one morning and saw a covered basket with five barely weaned kittens in it, one of which had a deformed front left paw and three curled under toes, toes without formed claws. We know this part. And he didn’t think the kitten, a male, would survive and thought the humane thing to do was put it to sleep to prevent more suffering.” Harold added.

“And Linda raised hell, as you’ve said, by yelling, screaming, sometimes crying, throwing her version of a tantrum, whatever she thought would work, until her Uncle gave it and let her try to save the kitten,” Sarah told Jack.

“And that stubborn, spunky kid did save the kitten and she named him Lucky and he lived ten more years,” Harold proudly told him.

“I’m glad everything worked out, but I’m wondering why, if you knew the details, you want to hear my side of the story?” Jack asked them both.

“To borrow a phrase from an old friend, you hockey puck, we’re wondering what you would have done as an eight year old boy in the same circumstances?” Harold asked.

“Honestly, I would have done the same thing. Perhaps not the crying of throwing a tantrum, but I, and my younger brothers, would have pleaded, even begged, and keep doing so until our parents gave us a chance to save the kitten.”

After telling them this, Harold Green stood up and approached Jack, offering him a handshake as the future son-in-law stood up.

“Our Linda is an honest, loving and intelligent young woman,” Sarah said proudly.

“She’s also strong-willed and can be very stubborn at times.” Harold added.

“And can be intimidating when she needs to be, like when she and some fellow co-workers chased away a group of illegal poachers,” 

“I know. I was there, too.”

“Don’t push your luck, buddy. Save your bragging for future achievements because that's our family tradition way,” Harold teased Jack as he patted him on the back. "Anyway, you'll do fine in our family."

"So, you were both just testing me, right?

"Of course," Sarah told Jack. "And you're okay."

Then they heard the front door open and waited for Linda to enter the livingroom.

“Sorry I’m a little late getting home from the Clinic. Have I missed anything important?” she asked everyone.

“I wouldn’t exactly call it important, or even worth an hour together, but your Father and I have decided Jack is almost good enough for you.” Sarah told her daughter teasingly.

“And you’ll have to keep reminding Jack that it was a very close vote between you Mom and I. But if you want to put up with him anyway, you have our full blessings.”

“Please don’t be hard on me! I’m not saving lives like Linda sometimes does, and I know I’m not spontaneous in my wit like the rest of you, but at least I comb my teeth and floss my ears like every proper English Literature teacher should.” 

After hearing Jack say this Linda and her Mother and Father burst into laughter because they realized Jack could be funny when he wanted to be. 

Reviews

[Brad Dehler]

Very funny, surprisingly funny. Thank you. Yeah, it starts with the title- confounding and intriguing. By the time one is in the first few lines, the vortex has started to spin. Very nice with a quaint ending.