Ten Reasons Why I'm A Failed Businessman:

Ten Reasons Why I’m A Failed Businessman:

Humor By Willys Watson

Is it my fault my visionary concepts are rarely embraced by the rest of the world.? Too far ahead of the times or too far ahead of the trends? Either way, no apologies from me for trying.

01. In the early 80s I put together and funded a polka punk band, an endeavor I was positive was the new cutting edge in music. For some reason it never caught on.

02. In the mid-80s I sunk my money into an upscale, trendy restaurant at a North Texas nudist colony. We followed all the local building and safety codes, including posting a sign on the front window that stated ‘No Shoes, No Shirts, No Service.’ To this very day I’ve never figured out why our restaurant folded so quickly.

03. Then I invested in a line of electronic gadgets that were slightly more expensive American made imitations of cheap Japanese knock-off imitations of American innovations. Too late I figured out that Americans were choosing cheap over American made.

04. Later I invested in a new process to strip paint from paper made products. That one may have been a poor choice on my part.

05. When designer clothes became so trendy by the late 80s I invested in a line of designer clothes for women made by backwoods hillbillies. This one I believed in because new trends come around all the time and this one was due. It just never caught on.

06. In the early 90s I invested in a new disposable automobile earmarked for the gullible American public, sadly not remembering that the Ford Pinto and Chevrolet Vega had already tried this and failed.

07. Then I self-published a self-help book on how to plead insanity without having to hire expensive attorneys. This one should have been a best seller.

08. In the late 90s I spent most of my savings investing in human cloning, including cloning myself. When the clones started getting restraining orders against us and charging us with stalking the company quickly went bankrupt.

09. In the mid 2000s, with shaved heads becoming so trendy. I invested in a process that would gradually thin out the hair on men cursed with full heads of hair so that these men would have a legitimate excuse to follow the trend and shave their heads. I picked the right time and the right product but it still failed.

10. And a few years back I wasted the last of my savings on a company that created invisible tattoo ink, a product aimed towards those religious fundamentalists who wanted to get tattoos like everyone else but were embarrassed to be seen with them in church.

Reviews

[roarke]

I'm still waiting for the "build it and they will come" strategy to work.... I feel ya. But ingenuity and creativity always go unrewarded, and yet for those who possess and wield these two qualities, they find ingenuity and creativity are rewards in themselves. Good stuff Willys.

[Willys Watson]

Thank you. Although this is meant as humor many of these ideas over the years I've though would work, like designer clothes as a hillbilly fashion statement. And why not, fashion has tried just about everything else. And a polka punk band? Rock has embraced just about everything else.