the first time

~

I'll never forget

the first time I kissed you

I know that I asked

and you said okay

Your lips were so soft,

the moment enchanting

That wonderful feeling

took my breath away

I stood there and stared,

your eyes captivating

Your smile my dream

as my heart it did fill

I'll never forget

the first time I kissed you

Oh how I do wish

I were kissing you still

~

Reviews

[Marie]

What a beautiful, sweet, tender, warm, romantic poem! A first love remembered in spite of the passing of time. We never forget our first love, they linger forever in our hearts and minds. I actually love the syntax "as my heart it did fill". It's olde English and I love to read olde English. You describe your beloved so finely that your words created a picture of the gorgeous lady who lives in your heart. I love the simplicity of the poem, it is very appealing to me. Thank you for sharing, Willweb.

[willweb]

Thank you Marie. I just adore your review of my poem because it speaks so many truths. The do linger in our hearts and minds forever it seems As for the syntax, I read a lot of Dorothy L. Sayers Mystery novels and that style of language always seems to find it's way into my poetry. Fabian obviously doesn't care for it but that is okay, he is entitled to his opinion. I am happy you enjoyed it, Thank you again for your visit.

[Marie]

Most welcome, dear Willweb. Poets, I believe, should write to suit themselves and produce the best poetry in doing so. We are all different and what one person likes may not be another person's taste at all. Each to his own, but that said I do love ( :-)) olde English and I have enjoyed reading your delightful poem SO v-e-r-y much. Thank you again, dear Willweb. Have a very lovely evening, pleasant and relaxed. Enjoy!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I literally cringed at the line, "as my heart it did fill". I despise that sort of syntax...i.e. "They did go", "He did say" "It did run" because to me it always sounds like it should be; "They went", "He said", and "It ran". And no amount of "poetic license" will ever alter my judgement on that. But Bob Dylan did it too. In, "All Along the Watchtower" he wrote, "outside in the cold distance, a wildcat did growl" I want to ask Bob, Did it? The wildcat growled. The only way I could find the usage permissible is in a rebuttal of a contrary statement such as, if one person says it didn't rain last night and another replies, "But it (did) rain." Otherwise, it simply rained and the past tense is appropriate. If it sounds forced, fake and foreign to my ear, I begin to think the author has simply lost hope looking for a suitable phrase. But, opinions vary as much as tastes so I'm certain there are many who will claim a piece of quartz is just as elegant as a diamond because they're both just rocks. I seem to run into that sort of logic a great deal these days. Someone will soon be out there protesting for the advancement of quartz because of its perceived inequality to diamonds. That's the world today. I enjoyed the read except for that one line that stuck in my throat like a retching cat with a fur ball it can't dislodge.

[willweb]

Hey, it happens. Sorry it bit you that way, you have to watch out for those wildcats.

[emmajoygreen]

Such a gentle and tender poem, less meter than usual but, so much warmth. Memories, huh! Your garden must be growing day by day, so extraordinary and unique it is!

[willweb]

Thank you so very much my friend. I am happy you stopped by.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I remember my knees buckling when a certain person kissed me for the first time.
I still feel them doing that...and that was 57 years ago...old knees, same feeling...just thinking about her.
j.

[willweb]

Mine did as well...thank you my friend.

[Amy R]

Oh wow, this brought back sweet memories.
I enjoyed this sweet little poem.
-Amy

[willweb]

I appreciate your visit and nice comment. Happy this one brought you some joy.

[Amy R]

All your writings are gr8, so I will always visit.
My pleasure.