Softly she weeps

~

 

Softly she weeps,

with thoughts overflowing,

empty, her heart plays the loneliest tune

Drying her eyes,

a pale evening showing,

silhouettes born by the light of the moon

Downward her gaze,

through curtains now parted,

seeking the love that the shadows did claim

Why did he leave,

she asks brokenhearted,

knowing her life it will not be the same

 

Softly she weeps,

the years they’ve collected,

happiness filled so much more than was planned

He was her rock,

a feeling protected,

stupid, this argument, got out of hand

Harsh words were said,

the anger repeated,

thinking it best it was time he was gone

Shattered and sad,

alone and depleted,

lost were her dreams, it was hard to go on

 

Softly she weeps,

the sunrise is coming,

tangerine tints, the horizon appear

Hearing a knock,

emotions so numbing,

weary, she longs for his touch to be near

Daylight arrives,

the morning dew glistens,

opens the door, overjoyed by the view

Down on his knees,

he speaks, as she listens,

forgive me, I beg, I will always love you 

 

Softly she weeps,

tears of joy

 

~

 

Author's Note

I wrote this poem with only the first and last sets of stanzas and it felt unfinished to me, like it needed some explanatory verses, so I wrote the middle set of stanzas. Then after reading it, I found it felt overwritten or even forced. I was up and down on what I should do so I am going to ask you, whoever stops by to read it...what do you think? First and last set of stanzas or the entire poem?

Reviews

[Papaya]

Definitely the entire poem. That's my opinion for what it's worth.
It's beautiful, sad, and has a happy ending but the middle verse creates such a strong emotional connection. I can't imagine not including it. Anyhow, it's a beautiful poem no matter which way.

[willweb]

Thanks Ana. Your poetic opinion means more to me than most. Thank you for taking the time to read and let me know what you think. I appreciate your visits.

[Papaya]

You're welcome. Always a pleasure to read you. ⭐

[The_Ancient_Rock]

I like the whole poem.
Great work, enjoyed the happy ending.
It was a nice twist.
Keep it up. Take good care Will.
😃

[willweb]

Thank you so much. I am grateful you stopped by

[The_Ancient_Rock]

You are most welcome, friend.

[James Mckay]

Man do you have a way with words. I thought I was reading shakespeare. Your poetry is amazing my friend.

[willweb]

Thanks so much James. I appreciate it.

[Soren]

Will it can go either way depending on the feeling that you want to leave the reader. The two stanzas alone leave it more up to the reader to interpret their way but to leave out the middle stanzas looses some beautiful lines
"He was her rock,
a feeling protected,
stupid, this argument, got out of hand
Harsh words were said,
the anger repeated,
thinking it best it was time he was gone"
Just my opinion, for what that is worth, about as much as it cost.

[willweb]

Thanks Soren, I appreciate it. I was just very undecided on this, which is unlike me. But I think the posted version is the best, at least for this poem. Thanks again my friend.

[Soyam]

Weeping all her bad nd good memos, she's finally overcoming!

[willweb]

Thanks for the visit my friend. Happy you enjoyed this.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I think the entire poem because the middle gives a hint as to why he needs her forgiveness...the harsh words...otherwise we are so in the dark that it is hard to advance an idea for the reader to find explanation even for his or her own interpretation.
j.

[willweb]

Thanks so much Jacob, that makes sense and I appreciate your time.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I think it's beautiful as is, and the end is very touching. In my opinion, communication is better than silence.

[willweb]

Thank you so much my sweet friend. I am happy you enjoyed this and thank you for your insight.

[Lorry]

I think they both work Will, but would leave it as is. In my humble opinion.
Beautiful write either way.

[willweb]

Thanks my friend. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. I think I like this version the best too.