Bored half to death

'

 

What can you do with a fried lemon sandwich

when summertime breezes have messed up its hair

How do you cut it in two equal pieces

while no one is home, and you don’t want to share

Why is it sitting alone at the counter

as marmalade milkshakes perform on the stage

Where is the flavor when bland is in fashion

and ginger ale sings on the very next page

 

Will you surrender to appetites chanting,

crossing the line where the pickets are white

Shoveling corn flakes when it is not snowing,

flying a kernel instead of a kite

Serving a side that is right down the middle,

leftover vegetables mashed into paste

Like a potato but not very filling,

smothered in ketchup to drown out the taste

 

Do you like tablecloths made out of vinyl,

just like a record but square when they play

Nothing to spin when you can’t find a needle,

looking through stacks that are covered in hay

Cookbooks too heavy to fit in your diet,

checking your math while subtracting a pound

Running in place when you’d rather be dancing,

wishing the dining room table was round

 

Can you believe that a poet would write this,

selling his soul to a man at the door

Smiling from one ear but not to the other

feeling the pinch when his cheeks are too sore

Maybe his mind has gone numb in the silence

hearing the wind when it’s merely his breath

It’s a safe bet amid all this confusion

the poet who wrote this is bored half to death

 

(just be careful not to be bored half to death twice)

 

 

 

Author's Note

Just having a little fun

Reviews

[Lorry]

This may sound harsher than I intend Will, especially considering it made me laugh, but that is some crazy thinking man! And that is coming from the country that brought you the deep fried Mars bar!!! 😊

[willweb]

Hey, we have deep fried Twinkies over here...but I didn't take any harsh offence, I appreciate you stopping by for lunch. : ) Bon Apetite

[Lorry]

Supper time here. I can't wait to get home and try making a marmalade milkshake! 😊

[willweb]

Sweet!!!!!!!!