Fruits of passion

My attempt at a Pablo Neruda style poem

'

 

As extended branches

test my hunger,

I grip the fruit you have become,

ripened while the winds go streaming

 

Slashing through

my tussled hair,

low branches quickly to defend,

though fight I must if I shall have you

 

This fruit is tempting,

young and pure

Through its flesh my teeth they probe,

delicious as the love of life does grow each spring

 

Dripping down my chin, the juices

of everyone

that has disallowed,

sweeter when the bowl is full

 

I beg, I reach, I grasp, I claw

Your succulent eyes

they look away,

these roots are strong,

holding fast to every probe

 

Tighter still I feel the warmth,

it covers me in splendor spent

I lie beneath your locks so soft

and beautiful, as is every dawn

 

Touch me deep

inside my soul

This claim is but a fabled speech,

my love to linger till the approaching sun

 

The fruits of passion fill the senses,

tastier than is the thigh

forming in the minders fashion

 

This is why my beating heart cries

tears of joy as are your lips,

countless times my dreams have fallen well inside

 

Reviews

[William Michael Reeves]

Beautiful, as is every dawn is poetic gold! I like those 'as is' and 'as are' turns. There were a couple moments this poem almost felt predatory. You seem to hunger for some prey, then fall prey to your love. Good stuff. I wish you had mentioned something about Pablo in your notes. I can search him.

Does Pablo use periods in his poetry?

[willweb]

I believe he does but he is like that. Me, I am free flowing and rule breaking...period. : )

[William Michael Reeves]

I'll need to see your poetic license sir! And please keep your pen in plain sight ... where I can keep reading you.

[K.P.H.M]

This is such a lovely piece! I love the imagery of the juices running down the protagonist's chin. Amazing as always.

[willweb]

Thank you so very much my friend. It is so nice to see you again. I appreciate your kind words.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

It's a very lovely piece you have written here, Will, but it's interesting that you say, in the style of Pablo Neruda since he wrote in so many different styles. Perhaps it was styled after a particular poem of his? I like Neruda's poetry because it generally has a broken human feel to it, not just poetry for the sake of something to write about. Some of it is political, some, surreal bordering on abstract and some almost seemingly religious even though he was an avowed atheist and confirmed communist. I disagree with almost all of his personal political and religious pronouncements as did the Spaniards when they banned his party and the Chilean left their country. But many of his works have a beauty to them that belie the character he proffered in his politics. I don't really think it's possible to love beauty and deny God. It's like looking at a painting or sculpture and claiming there is no artist. But that is just my personal view.

[willweb]

You are probably right. I really do not know that mush about him except from what I have heard from others. I did grab a few poems to read but stayed away from anything political or what I didn't understand. It is more a frame of mind poem, just attempting to feel as he did.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I would never attempt to feel like anyone else. The greatest and only marketable commodity that a writer has is originality. Be yourself and let your own views, feelings and thoughts shape your oeuvre. Mark Twain once famously said, "Write what you know." Your life experiences will be nothing like mine or anyone else's so that's a great and almost inexhaustible source of inspiration to draw from. Many of my poems are from personal experience and others are simply creations from my imagination which is more than a little active (smile). But I think being inspired by another writer is certainly within the norms of creativity. But I'm going to want to put my own spin on what I've read and apply my own take to the inspiration. I believe if we try to get into the mind of the author we might be facing a formidable and perhaps even dangerous task since we never know if the writing is genuinely sincere in its point of view or just the imagined creations of the writer. Think what it would be like if everyone believed the things Stephen King writes were actual life experiences of his. Of course he did have an admitted and understandable aversion to reality at some point. I love learning about the personal aspects of artists, writers, poets and people in history. I've always been fascinated by the stories, biographies and autobiographies of people. As for style...I won't make any attempt to that save what comes from my inspiration or form for that matter. I don't study form. I have in college and writing classes but it's rather boring in its perfunctory application. Feeling is so much more difficult and beautiful to capture; like an elusive and rare butterfly one wishes to paint. That's my gospel, anyway. But, to each his/her own. Wishing you and yours a wonderful weekend. We're on Spring break here so I'm looking forward to some reading and writing time over my holiday. Bless, F.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I have always loved Pablo Neruda's poetry. Since he wrote in Spanish, I think it's hard for his work to translate perfectly into English. It's even harder from an English perspective to write with a similar voice. You have the heart and the romance for sure, and all of your poetry is beautiful. It is a reflection of who you are as a person.

[willweb]

Thanks my friend. I know what you mean, the passion and sensuality of his writing is definitely felt by the reader. There is a trueness to his poetry. It is as if you are the voyeur peeking through the keyhole. I appreciate your visit.

[Sami Khalil]

Passionate, lovely, sweet and splendid with imagery. Pablo Neruda should be proud of his kith and kin in poetry. You must have strong passions when it comes to romance.
I like to visit his places one day.

[willweb]

Thanks so much Sami. Just trying to emulate his poetic style a bit, not sure about the me and the passionate side. : )

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! You tried. You succeeded. I hope you succeed him.