Garden dream

Within this heart a sheltered loom

of woven thoughts in ribboned faire

Where marigolds sing melodies,

a soft caress your flowing hair

 

As hummingbirds ignite your smile,

upon a floating shade of blue

and cherry blossoms paint the sky

in nectar worn as sweet perfume

 

I open this, my chambered soul,

so you may rest in perfect ease

Beneath an arbor’s shaded bliss

to linger on a fragrant breeze

 

For deep within this garden dream,

illumined by the sun above

I pray that you will stay awhile,

to share these blooms of nature’s love

Author's Note

I saw the first hummingbird of spring on Saturday. The magic of spring is in the air

Reviews

[William Michael Reeves]

So you like criticism, huh? You want some constructive criticism outta me?!?! (gesturing at myself with both hands like a gang-banger) Well, here you go. This poem sucks ... popsicles of delight! This pop of poetry tastes like well metered marshmallows. Sweet! If I were a hummingbird I'd stick my pecker in so deep and fast the friction would melt the inky nectar in the center so I could slurp up the shades of blue 💙.
I recited this out loud a couple times and it rolled off the tongue in soft harmony. Like Spring is supposed to feel like. Not too hot, not too cold. Just write, like your poem feels.

Oh! Some constructive criticism. I feel like if you are going to use any punctuation you should complete that. I noticed where you start a new thought or phrase with a capital, you left the previous enjambed. You might have something against periods, they are rather final, but it felt incomplete without them.

[willweb]

Thanks my friend, this made me smile and I really don't have anything against periods, I just do not feel comfortable with punctuation as a rule. I use a lot of commas to control the flow or melody but I shy away from periods, questions marks, exclamation points, etc because...I really am kind of dumb and am not always sure of the proper use so I just don't use them. I guess I could add periods to this and other and might try in the future. Maybe it is something inside of me...I always, even free verse, write with a melody and I guess I don't like it to stop. How's that? Ok, Mostly piss poor excuses...I'm just lazy I guess. : ) Thanks again though, I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment and bring some joy into my life.

[William Michael Reeves]

Excuses, excuses. Good excuse though. I've been schooled on punctuation, and there is a disclaimer at the end of the lesson ... at the poets discretion. It should be how the poet wants it. I struggle with it. Too much, wrong mark, no point to make. I do hear what you're saying. I intentionally try to run a sentence as long as I can through a poem without a period. If you have any interest in what is 'write' or 'wrong' where it's concerned, Richard has some great lessons in his profile. I could give you a brief tutorial if you want too. Punctuation is tricky, but it has an important role in how a poem reads and looks. Lazy? Yeah right.

[Sami Khalil]

Your poems blossom like spring in all its glory. You leave the reader with lots of things to enjoy and behold.
Keep singing the melodies of love. Glad you saw the first Hummingbird.

[willweb]

Thank you so much my friend.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome 😊.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This is just beautiful, like a sweet spring breeze. I have a weeping crabapple tree in my front yard that is just blooming with pink blossoms. I can't wait to see the first hummingbird.

[willweb]

Thank you again Linda Marie. Down here the hummingbirds are on a schedule it seems. I always put my feeders out in the third week of March and pretty much always see the first hummingbird on the 25th.

[Cherrie]

Elegance flowed off the page and framed this poem.

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Cherrie

[Lorry]

We don't get hummingbirds here at all, nowhere in Europe does. With the reason behind it the same as why all people should skedaddle too, its too cold and its not fair.
But they do sound pretty majestic I can totally imagine them igniting smiles.
Nicely done my friend.

[willweb]

That is too bad my friend, they are very cool little creatures. I have a feeder that hangs just off of a patio and I just love to sit and watch them flit about. They are very colorful too. It is one of nature's true gift as they always return on the 25 of March each year here. Hope someday you get to see one.

[AYVID N]

How beautifully you weave words into amazing poems. It's always such a pleasure to read.

[willweb]

Thanks so very much my sweet friend. I am thrilled you stopped by the garden for a visit.

[AYVID N]

Always here and it's such a pleasure to read you!

[Dave Brown]

Another (yawn LOL) beauty
The arbor reference relates as I am currently rebuilding one of ours that has been overly weather ravaged, while through it all we have been supporting a wintering over, sweet little hummer (feeder is alongside a window, letting us eye to eye quite often) having now been joined by another
Another of Nature's miracle machines
Have they redone the potholes on Taylor street yet?
Definitely not paying attention to the roads around here

[willweb]

Can't say I know the answer to that question but...the other morning in a meeting here at work I did ask the question..."Why are they called potholes?" I didn't get a satisfactory answer.
Which brings up another question now...are there actually satisfactories and if not, where is a satis made?
Thanks my friend.

[Dave Brown]

L O L

[Dave Brown]

L O L