Anything but bread

A little fun on a Friday

I bumped into a man named Fred

and listened to each word he said

A story I was soon to dread,

for all he talked about was bread

 

In detail he spoke every slice,

some made of wheat and some of rice

There’s cinnamon and sugar spice

and sourdough he mentioned twice

 

Banana nut he found so sweet,

the perfect early morning treat

With coffee as you take a seat,

to bake it though, a major feat

 

He chronicled each rim of crust,

a lighter tan or darker rust

or sprinkled with a pepper dust

I guess somehow he thought he must

 

When then he changed and featured toast,

I think it’s what he liked the most

I can’t believe how he could boast,

he’d tell his tale from coast to coast

 

I told him I was running late,

I had a very special date

A meeting and it couldn’t wait,

I headed out beyond the gate

 

I started walking down the trail,

He didn’t stop, I heard him wail

“Be careful of the loaves on sale,

you’ll usually find that they are stale”

 

Into a café I then fled

and thinking of that man named Fred

When asked to order, this I pled,

“Just bring me anything but bread!”

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

As I read this poem, was ticking off all the bread I knew and ate, especially when freshly made! But when I came to Fred's last crumb 'realised too much of a good thing isn't! Smiling into my dreams...

[willweb]

Happy this one made you smile...now will be some beautiful dreams ahead. : )

[emmajoygreen]

Beautiful dreams are always my aim so, needing all the help available. Thank you, willweb :)

[Ana B.]

Perfectly light and funny and it also kind of made me hungry :D
A delightful read dear Will :)

[willweb]

Happy you enjoyed this one Ana.

[Theona]

Funny and Sweet. Your an excellent poet Will. I'm 100% you'll make it to your date and so will she.

[willweb]

Thank you so much

[Lorry]

What a doughball! (Fred I mean)
And I don't hold you responsible at all for thinking it was Friday morn when I woke up minutes ago, as you posted this two hours ago, which technically was still Friday here (just) 😊
Fred reminds me of an old friends brother, who he brought along to a staff night out, saying he doesn't get out much... We soon found out why! He worked for the council as a ratcatcher and it was all he could talk about.
I remember telling his brother he needed a chat up line, sharpish and never bring him again, as all the women abruptly left after saying they felt sick talking to that weirdo rat guy!
I bet Fred doesn't sound so weird now, eh? 😊

[Lorry]

And Ps... I just noticed you posted this last year, probably on a Friday, so I'm pretty glad I never went on about it being Saturday here! 😊

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Interseting as a flowing rhyming piece of hilarious verse. Funny and yet thought provoking! A slice of well baked poetry!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Oh my God, this is hilarious. I love this. But it makes a point that sometimes people have obsessions that others can not understand.

[willweb]

Thanks so much. I am happy you got a laugh out of this one,

[Coyote Poetry]

I did enjoy the story in the poetry Will.
"Into a café I then fled
and thinking of that man named Fred
When asked to order, this I pled,
“Just bring me anything but bread!”
I do understand the above lines and thank you for sharing the entertaining and amazing poetry.
Coyote

[willweb]

Thanks so very much my friend.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Will.

[Chris Shaw]

Such fun and a reminder that on occasions you can meet someone who will bore the pants of you with the detail. I have to say though, some bread is very yummy. I am pretty partial to a slice of banana bread and I love my toast and marmalade. A good read will. Fab rhyming.

Chris

[willweb]

Thank you so much Chris. I am thrilled you liked this one.

[Red Brick Keshner]

It could've been Brad or Sted or Red and you had to talk to Fred! And bread is quite as you say a stale and dry as thing to talk about. Good one Will! Freds

[willweb]

Well, I was going to talk to Frederick but all he wanted to talk about was red bricks so, I conversed with Fred. : )
Thanks so much my friend.

[Red Brick Keshner]

Ah! Bread 🥯 🍞 🥖 mmm…

[Vertigo Cat1111]

This is endlessly amusing and relatable. I didn’t even realize that till the end. People force feed us THEIR interests and THEIR thoughts and lives that it makes us wanna go run and hide. But also… this man named Fred is upsettingly obsessed with bread. Is his obsession with bread real? Why? Does it have something to do with his past?! Lol, just kidding. I was super fond of the extremely vivid rich descriptions. The way you describe the world around kind of reminds me of H.G. Wells, writer of War Of The Worlds, a great book. So thorough and well done I felt I was in that cafe, panting from running. Thank you for sharing!

[willweb]

Thank you so very much. I am thrilled you enjoyed this little poem. I don't really have anything against bread or people named Fred, but some can just go on and on and on and on. : )