I went for coffee but left with something more

"What can I get you hon?"

 

"Coffee please."

 

"What'cha writin there?"

 

"Oh it's nothing, just a poem."

 

"Mind if I see it?"

 

"It's really nothing."

 

"Is it a love poem?"

 

"Kind of, it's not that good and she will never see it."

 

"Oh, let a girl be the judge of that."

 

Of every sunset beauty

found your precious eyes

drenches my desires

intoxicates my sighs

 

Merely but to kiss you

my dreams shall all come true

lost within this moment 

I'm so in love with you

 

"Sigh, that is so beautiful hon. Corrine, come take a look at this."

 

Oh crap, it's her

 

"That is so beautiful. Hi, I'm Corrine."

 

"Hi, Will."

 

"So you're a poet, Will?"

 

"I guess so."

 

 

 

Author's Note

Ok, it was just a thought.

Reviews

[Confuser]

I quite enjoyed it. Another pleasant surprise. Clever young lad your are!

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Dale for this nice review.

[Confuser]

If I didn't enjoy it, you would not here from me. I like your style of writing and we are always, me any learning; you inspired me to write about something with a surprise ending; anyway....

[R Smith]

nice one Will, love the way fate stepped in and introduced you to your love when you clearly had no nerve to do it yourself, bravo :)

[willweb]

Thank you so much Richard. I am thrilled you liked this one.

[MomzillaNC]

Very cool by play and lovely poem.

NOTES:
"What can I get you [hon]?"
"What'cha [writin'] there?"
my dreams shall all [come] true
"Sigh, that is so beautiful [hon]. Corrine, come take a look at this."
"Oh crap, it's her." [instead of enclosing this in quotations, maybe it should be italicized to denote he thought it, rather than said it aloud.]

[willweb]

Thanks...I will revisit it. I appreciate your thoughts and comments.

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. The reason for recommending "hon" over "hun" is that "Hun" is a defined proper noun "a member of a warlike Asiatic nomadic people who ravaged Europe in the 4th–5th centuries;" while "hon" is defined as "short for honey (as a form of address)."

[willweb]

Yeah, that dawned on me after I read your comments. Now if the poet's name was Attila and not Will, maybe then it would have worked. :)

[MomzillaNC]

LOL! You could change his name! :D

[MomzillaNC]

That'd be a whole different poem! LOL

[MomzillaNC]

Hey, you should think about entering this in the Make Us Laugh contest. It's not a ROTFLMBO funny, but it's very amusing.

[The Black Warrior]

HAhaha, I thought it was true story, but the poem which that amazing poet (YOU) was indeed beautiful! You know you are a good story teller Will! ;) I enjoyed this!

[willweb]

Thank you so much Suk for this nice reveiw of my work. No, not a true story, just my imagination. I am thrilled you enjoyed this.

[Matching Socks]

That's pretty cute. :)
It sounds totally real too so I wouldn't be surprised if Corinne is real and the one you've written all these poems for. :). Adorable poem.

[willweb]

Nope, sorry. Corrine just happened to be the name of a customer who was in the lobby as I wrote this. I was going to use Ana, but then people might talk. :) Thanks so much Ana for this wonderful review.

[Matching Socks]

Lol!! Thanks, made me laugh. :)

[therisa]

It's gorgeous, Will. I love, how you have used dialogue to advance the poem, in the reader's eye. Is going to my fave list.

[willweb]

Thanks so very much Therisa. I am happy you liked this one

[therisa]

Your welcome, Will. Yesterday was, one of my darkest days of the year, and I needed what your poem had.

[willweb]

Then I am thrilled that I wrote it. Thank you again Therisa.

[Benita-Staebell M - Kin..]

Beautiful sounds so real
or was this fiction I do made up
love stores in my head too they're fun.


unless it is feelings about someone
you like :)



Thank you for sharing this lovely piece
and for your kind review and comments
left on my page.



Blessings. Benita

[willweb]

Thank so much Benita. Purely fiction.

[Benita-Staebell M - KindredPoet]

ah ok nice work. You're welcome. :)

[Lyn Anderson]

I love this one. It is very nicely done. Now, one question, trying to figure out the line that starts with Sign and why it starts with sign.

[willweb]

Because I wrote this quickly and didn't catch it. It is supposed to be "Sigh". But thank you so much for seeing that...I will correct that right now. I wasn't too sure about this one, it was just an idea that hit me and I wrote it in here. Thanks so much my friend.