I went for coffee but left with something more

"What can I get you hon?"

 

"Coffee please."

 

"What'cha writin there?"

 

"Oh it's nothing, just a poem."

 

"Mind if I see it?"

 

"It's really nothing."

 

"Is it a love poem?"

 

"Kind of, it's not that good and she will never see it."

 

"Oh, let a girl be the judge of that."

 

Of every sunset beauty

found your precious eyes

drenches my desires

intoxicates my sighs

 

Merely but to kiss you

my dreams shall all come true

lost within this moment 

I'm so in love with you

 

"Sigh, that is so beautiful hon. Corrine, come take a look at this."

 

Oh crap, it's her

 

"That is so beautiful. Hi, I'm Corrine."

 

"Hi, Will."

 

"So you're a poet, Will?"

 

"I guess so."

 

 

 

Author's Note

Ok, it was just a thought.

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

So you shoulda written a book with this one but I know thats not your thing. I did enjoy this but I also thought it would have been intriguing as the beginning of a longer story - its a little snapshot moment that begs for more...okay. I want a second helping please because I'm a hog.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Your titles are as intriguing as your content, Will! Always a pleasure to see where you take us next!

[willweb]

Thanks so much Kelly. I appreciate you always being so nice to me.

[BAlanMorgan]

I really enjoyed this a lot. I liked that it was more of a story than anything else. I felt intrigued, and at the same time wishing for more of the story to come. I know that the introduction went off well, but the fact that it ended here was definitely something that made me need to know more. This easily could be the setup for a story to come, for a passage to be made about more that this character goes through, however the strength of ending it here was perfect. I wish I could read more, and that is a gift to bring in literature. You made something from less than a page of writing. It read easily, and smoothly, which are both things that are necessary while writing screenplays, plays, short stories, and poetry (at least what I was taught in my education process at university), and you nailed that. Moreover, the instant rush the reader gets from the fact that it's her that will read it really changes the impact of the story.

[willweb]

Thanks so very much. One of my favorite writing form is Flash Fiction. I have learned how to pack a lot in a small space. I am thrilled you liked this one.

[Baby Ricochet]

Smooth. Good one Will................................

[willweb]

Thank you so much Baby Ricochet.

[Trace]

Kind of placing yourself in the right position to let your feeling be discovered
Without letting the awkward get in the way.

Well played
Well written.

Trace

[willweb]

Thanks so much Trace. I an happy you stopped by and left such nice words for me.

[Rita L. Sev]

You paint this scene perfectly, Will - the place, the people, the heart on the sleeve... Well penned!

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Rita. I am thrilled you like thi one.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a love poem to the waitress....ah i remember being in love with a waitress up in Vermont back in the late 1950's---she worked at the farmhouse where we stayed....problem was she was 18 or 19 and i was 7 so it just couldn't have worked out...:)))

but this is really good...you paint a nice story in your words.

[willweb]

Thanks so much Jacob.

[MsJewel]

You know I love romantic poetry and this is sweet and oh so romantic..stunning writing my friend.
One for my favs!

:) Julie

[willweb]

Thank you Julie for your kindness.

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Taking a spin and putting inside your poetry...works well with your title.

[willweb]

Thank you so much Josie

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

You are welcome! ;)

[Ma'at]

this was really cool, i liked it a lot :) great job

[willweb]

Thank you very much.