an ache of a poem. I've become such a hardened old thing. Perhaps a dragon. No tears here. but this poem if I were one to cry would make me weep with emotion.
How can I, critique something, which is, so right, beyond sighing. Hoping, someday, I can write something, like this. If I'm lucky. Thank you, Willweb, for sharing this poem, with us.
Thank you so very much Benita. I am happy you enjoyed this one.
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10 Years Ago
I found this through the contest Emotions you have felt. I sent the admin a message asking about the.. read moreI found this through the contest Emotions you have felt. I sent the admin a message asking about the group but no answer back :( I was wanting to know more about it. thank you for sharing. Blessings. Benita
The last line just takes the cake [with semantic icing, and consonant cherries no less!!]
ps, forgive me, if I am wrong, but did you mean "[hopes] for future"?
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
You are correct and thank you so much, I have made that change. I don't know how that slipped past m.. read moreYou are correct and thank you so much, I have made that change. I don't know how that slipped past me...must have been my blurred vision. :)
I liked your use of simili. Your flow was smooth and easy to understand. Well who would understand a poet well than the poet itslef? :p
This is a beautiful writing. I liked it :)
ur thoughts r very good. U express well, only thing is, that this poem of urs has an abrupt end. c how u can build on it and end it with a soft touch. Love to read more of ur stuff. Keep posting. Regards.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thanks so much June. Abrupt endings seem to be my forte.
Hi, I am willweb. Maybe you remember me and maybe you don't. I have been writing here on and off for years. I pop in and write and read and comment and make friends and learn new things.
I enjoy maki.. more..