Piled on

 

Piled on, like sauce on pasta

Each day it bends a little more

Weak knees tremble

and muscles ache

Mind’s folly drifts left of center

Dancing becomes labored

 

Music fades like old jeans,

just not as comfortable

Desires leak in puddles

wiped up before

thoughts can breathe

 

Dressed as a clown,

no costume needed,

as chocolate covered desperation

melts in the bottom

of the trick or treat bag

holding my heart

 

And then it breaks…it breaks in two

The shattering hurts,

and it screams,

Questions, questions, questions,

I don’t want the answers to,

not wanting anything

just the end….

 

even if I am afraid of the dark

 

 

 

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

Music fades like old jeans,
just not as comfortable
Desires leak in puddles
wiped up before
thoughts can breathe

that speaks volumes

[willweb]

Thanks so much Tammy for your nice words today. I am thrilled you liked this.

[yuki]

Wow this is good i love the slit horror in this and then how the end really says all thats about it great job

[willweb]

Thanks so very much Yuki. I appreciate your kindness today.

[Confuser]

Thought it was great. Life's a tricky thing with all that stuff piling up - is it about love? Or desperation; I just liked it. Thank you.

[willweb]

Thanks again for your visit and nice comments. I guess it can be about whatever you choose. Life is a puzzle and boy those pieces can really get heavy at times.

[Confuser]

You've got it! And I am TERRIBLE with puzzles.

[Lyn Anderson]

Ouch. Another piece of love and hurt, well done. Now, I am going to go out on a limb here and make a big suggestion. The first stanza suggests a food metaphor, and then it goes to more of a clothing, dressing feel. Perhaps, now just perhaps, the first stanza could be about piles of laundry? I know that is a big leap, and don't want to step on toes or offend, just a suggestion, hoping you will take it as intended. :)

[willweb]

You can step on my toes anytime KLGoode, with these big clown shoes on I wouldn't feel it anyway. :) Thanks for the review and the suggestion, it makes sense to me but I think this one has run its course so I will leave it as is.

[R Smith]

so you can't dance, got some dubious leaks, look like a clown and afraid of the dark, gonna be a tough life from here on in friend! Although you do write a pretty magnificent poem Will so take heart and stride forth with purpose, you're a winner :)

[willweb]

Thank you Richard for this wonderful review.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like white chocolate, Ana...

but oh those kisses....smack!

this poem is delightful bag of treats...excellent metaphor...

i see "getting old" here...i understand...and each year certain things get lost, and dancing does become labored because we just start forgetting the steps and our rhythm gets offbeat.

[willweb]

Thanks so very much Jacob. I am thrilled you liked this one.

[Matching Socks]

Can I offer you a Hershey kiss?
Would that help? I'd offer a hug too but those have the white chocolate. Yuck.

[willweb]

I didn't know Hershey was your last name, but of course, anything that sweet I am always ready for. :) Thanks so much Ana. Your smile always makes me smile.

[Matching Socks]

Ha! No such luck my friend. :P
Hope you've had a good Halloween, I know how you loved getting all dressed up!

[Lydia Shutter]

The metaphors and the emotion in this one are spectacular, Will! "Chocolate covered desperation" what a fantastic line! Some days it does seem like the entire world is out to get you and nothing is quite rright. The music fades and nothing will make you happy. I can relate. I really liked this one. Lydi**

[willweb]

Thanks so very much Lydi. Just trying to write out the pain. It is a shame they don't make "White out" for these lingering sad thoughts. I am thrilled you enjoyed this. Your kindness always humbles me.

[emmajoy]

'.. not wanting anything .. just the end…. ... .... even if I am afraid of the dark'

Made alive with metaphors, your thoughts and feelings lay the page so skilfully. But, there's such a sadness of words; seems extreme emotions draw out the richest poetry.

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Emmajoy. I am so happy you liked this one today. Extreme emotions can certainly take hold of the pen in times like this...what comes out is anyone's guess.