Pillowcase Promises

I lay neath a moon
of white chocolate shavings,
in milk chocolate dreams
on dark chocolate skies

Wrapped up in blankets,
caramel cryings
and pillow case promises
poured in my eyes

When in through the curtains
a beacon of sorrow,
shines peppermint shadows
in lines on the lawn

No candy coating
this nightmare repeating
life is not sweet
ever since you've been gone

Reviews

[Ally Monique]

man this poem made me hungry! hahah All this talk about chocolate and sweets is making my mouth water lol
Interesting use of language here, very unique :)
Also, amazing job at tying everything together in the last stanza! ^_^
Keep writing!

[willweb]

Thank you so much Ally for this nice review of my poetry. Happy you enjoyed this today. Now go get some candy. :)

[Kayleigh]

Willweb, I thought your title was out of this world and I imagined reading this and for it to be all romantic but the ending made me sigh and want to reach out to you. I think this is a hit, for me anyway.

[willweb]

Thank you so much Kayleigh for this nice review of my poem. Sorry about the deceptive title. I am very happy you liked this one today.

[Kayleigh]

I like deceptive titles, so no need to say sorry.

[Lyn Anderson]

Hmmm, am I hungry or sad? Seriously, love the carry through of the sweet treats analogy, like false promises of something better but really no substance underneath the relationship.

[willweb]

Thanks again for your nice review. Just trying my hand at candy and rhyming. I am glad you liked this one.

[Pryde Foltz]

When in through the curtains
a beacon of sorrow,
shines peppermint shadows
in lines on the lawn

Delicious metaphor work:)

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Pryde. I am happy you liked this one.

[Frieda P]

Other than the fact 'white chocolate', an impostor (there is no such animal really) makes me gag, I loved it! :)

Bittersweet....

[willweb]

What if I change it to "Faux chocolate"? Thank you so much Frieda P. I am happy you liked this one.

[Frieda P]

It's your creation, just my odd thing with the stuff, my sister used to gag too at the mention of it, it works in your poem.

[Pryde Foltz]

Hey you … enough with the ragging on white chocolate. I have eyes everywhere … and they are pink and made of fondant.

[Frieda P]

Ha what are you the white choco police?

[Pryde Foltz]

worse the white chocolate mafia … tomorrow there will be a horse head made entirely of white chocolate next to you on the pillow, stuffed with maraschino cherries.

[Frieda P]

HAHAHA you're twisted!!

[Pryde Foltz]

Just a little … like a good gin and tonic.

[Frieda P]

What are you Italiano Canadian?...........

[Tam Warink]

............. . . . . . . .... :)

[Pryde Foltz]

Oh no … much tougher than that … Ukrainian ...

[Frieda P]

Slowly stepping back.. ... .... ....

[Pryde Foltz]

………………………..:)

[Frieda P]

I just went for the cement mixer and Zio Guido, don't get all excited. ;)

[Pryde Foltz]

Mama needs a new pair of shoes … I don't think so:)

[Frieda P]

Our ethnicity sure does give us a bad rap....but we'll play it up, what the fook. ;)

[Pryde Foltz]

………………….:)

[Matching Socks]

:( this is not making me smile.
It's breaking my heart.
It's beautiful, but sad.

[willweb]

Sorry about that Ance. I'll try to turn the frown upside down soon - soon. Thank you for sending me your thoughts on this one.

[Matching Socks]

LOL. promise?
great poem WillWeb, any poem with chocolate in it is always a hit with me.read moreLOL. promise?
great poem WillWeb, any poem with chocolate in it is always a hit with me.
add some whipped cream, ice cream a cherry and we've got a yummy sundae, gotta banana? even better, cuz then we can split.
(i'm actually allergic to bananas though so maybe not a good idea)

[willweb]

I was going to offer you a kiss...but I figured you'd want the entire bag. :)

[Matching Socks]

You know... That is just perfect. I'm going to leave if at that. :)
Nerd...

[Jack Cassidy]

I really like the creativity in this poem... Your word usage is very colorful. Nice work, K.

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Kusa for your nice comments today.

[Jack Cassidy]

No pro man.

[Jack Cassidy]

No prob man

[s y e]

Woah Will, this is something else. I thought I was going to come to your page and read something that had a sweet romantic ending and then it leaves me wanting more but also sad because you are missing someone whom you love... Oh sighs, this was superb!

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Noodlehead. I am glad you liked this. Sorry to disappoint you. :)