Bon Voyage

On a problematic sea

Tossed about and swept below

Saturated sanity

Lost among the wave line flow

Beg for air this salted deep

Frantic as the search does find

Fill my lungs, endeavor’s keep

Trusted life in washed up time

Anchors dropped to keep you near

Only but a chain link reach

Tidal currents, constant fear

Of these lessons taught to teach

Bon voyage, your ship does sail

Not a wave or glance towards me

Going down, my last exhale

On a problematic sea

Reviews

[just Penny]

First of all, I apologise for the tardiness of my replies to read requests. I havent been on here much lately and am writing on other sites now to learn, grow and be inspired by different writers. This has been sitting in my RR's for a while and I will try in ernest to catch up. You have a great opening line that sets the tone for what follows. I could use the analogy of a "parting of the waves" but that would be crass :) It is a tragedy to farewell something or someone that you want in your life. The final lines sound like "enough is enough". A fine write from your talented "pen". Penny

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Penny for reading and reviewing my poem. No apology needed, I understand. I recently saw you on another site and I realy enjoy your poetry. Good luck with trying new things.

[Corset]

lovely imagery this is packed with despite the theme, the rhyme scheme is tight and flows beautifully, how we all wish for someone to save us at some point in our lives so this poem is highly relatable, and wonderfully written.

[willweb]

Thank you Corset for your nice review today. I am excited you liked this one.

[Corset]

I'm excited that you're excited lol

[Einstein Noodle]

sorry for such pain .. :(
saying goodbye is sometimes the anchor itself
take a listen if you please http://youtu.be/RTiyLuZOs1A

peace and joy
E.

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Einstein Noodle for your nice comments. I will listen directly.

[Lillian Leigh]

I like the raw emotion of the piece, the imagery of the sea just swallowing you up just drives it farther and makes it a more powerful, emotional experience

[willweb]

Thank you Lillian for your nice comments today. I am happy you liked this one.

[Lyn Anderson]

Very nice imagery, a powerful piece.

[willweb]

Thank you KLGoode for your nice review. Happy you enjoyed this.

[Lyn Anderson]

I never assume pain comes from personal experience unless the author says so. You write with depth and understanding.

[Matching Socks]

Nicely done Will.
Love this analogy.
Relationships are choppy, stormy...
Never smoothe sailing all the way through.
Excellent job here.

[willweb]

Thanks so much Ance. Glad you liked this one today.