Cleansing Breaths

Floating face up

along a rain swollen gutter,

watching street lights flickering on above

and neon stares unbelieving of what they see

 

One wrong step and down I went,

you pointing at me, following me with your eyes,

ignoring my out stretched hand,

pushing me under

 

Gasping for breath as skyscrapers

gawk with a thousand eyes

through lighted windows

reaching for the stars now blurring, running together

 

“Help me, I can’t seem to breathe” I plead

as I cross that intersection of doubt and shame

wondering why this river crests high above

one way streets heading in the wrong direction

 

The storm is a torrent, a downpour of emotions

saturated by sorrow, drenched of lost dreams,

washed away on the swirling current,

winding its way to a gaping dark mouth and I am swallowed

 

The stench is overpowering,

sewage surrounds me, paints me in toxic colors,

this must be how you saw me, this odor

bearing down in love thought, but not wanted

 

Pitch black now, spinning, wasting away

in corridors of dead memories

Slime coated illusions of blue sky desires,

rat infested brick lined tunnels steering

 

When I see a light, small but growing

somewhere ahead, fresh air or at least it seems,

my eyes grow accustomed

as I am spit out, riding a wave of desperation

 

Free falling, below and above become the same

Reaching for something but finding nothing

which is normal as I land with a splash,

holding what little breath I have left, submerged

 

The sea, I am in the sea, it cleanses me

with pure liquid temptations, the sun shines over head,

I feel its warmth, I feel revived, I feel free,

knowing now that I can breathe - without you

 

Reviews

[s y e]

WOW!!! I am completely speechless, Will. You have hit the cat out of the bag with this one.

[willweb]

Thank you Noodlehead. That is funny, first time I ever heard hit the cat out of the bag. :) I like that.

[Lyn Anderson]

Wonderful imagery and allusion. One little reminder -- it's does not need an apostrophe when it is possessive.

[willweb]

Thank you so much KLGoode. I will fix that.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the way you led the reader to the sea. I believe the sea is a healer also. I like the thoughts and struggle in the poem. No weakness in the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[willweb]

Thank you again for your wonderful comments. I too find the sea a healing force. I am happy you enjoyed this.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. I will come back tonight and read some more.

[just Penny]

Storm drains and sewers work well in this poem to describe the lows and the dejection. The final stanza holds liberation from those depths and that survival is possible. You use wonderfully creative metaphor throughout. Good job. Penny

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Penny. I always enjoy when you stop by.

[Bright Ocean Star]

Will, this is a fabulous write. Absolutely beautiful with great descriptive imagery....love the following stanza, "The storm is a torrent, a downpour of emotions
saturated by sorrow, drenched of lost dreams,
washed away on the swirling current,
winding its way to a gaping dark mouth and I am swallowed". You set up suspense and agony of the situation beautifully. Thank you for sharing this one...

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Bright Ocean Star for this wonderful review of my poem. I am happy you enjoyed it.

[Frieda P]

One word Will....outstanding!

Love that last stanza to pieces....

[willweb]

Thank you Frieda P for your nice comments. I am happy you liked this one.

[Frieda P]

You're fast becoming another of my favorite poets here...my pleasure.

[Matching Socks]

Let it all out babe. :)
You're the king of metaphors ... I enjoyed reading this Will.
Would you like to borrow my paper bag? ;)

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Ance for your nice comments. Not sure a paper bag would have held up and plastic would have made it worse. I am happy you liked this one.

[Persona]

I really like it, but it's complex, more like a story than a poem.

[willweb]

Yes, I know, sorry I got a little carried away here. But thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this. I am happy you liked it.