Black Swan Choices

When the last ballerina fell

we left the theater, one row at a time

bringing to an end this dance

of shifting moves and spinning judgments

The long drive home was silent,

as lonely streets could not perform

and applause was somewhere in the next lane

on cushioned seats and lighted dashboards

The falling of a pink tutu was not the undoing,

it was the ballet of my heart

you could not keep step with,

balanced between your own needs

Not on my toes but on my knees

I pleaded in pirouette promises

for but one more dance,

you called off the performance

Your black swan features collected

each passing street light, ignited tempo

as you dropped the curtain before

watching me fall 

Reviews

[Vidya Bacchus]

You paint such vivid imagery with your words Will.Another bitter sweet absolutely perfect one :)

[willweb]

Vidya, I am so happy you liked this sone. Your nice words really make me smile.

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing poem. I like the visions create by the description. I like how you used the Black Swan to make your point. The ending left me with the need to know more. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[willweb]

Thank you so very much for your nice comments today Coyote Poetry. I am happy you enjoyed this one.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. I must watch the movie Black Swan one day. The words gain life and purpose because of this movie.

[Matching Socks]

So interesting, this one.
A little different but I enjoyed it no less.

[willweb]

Thank you so very much for your nice comments Ance.

[s y e]

// The falling of a pink tutu was not the undoing,
it was the ballet of my heart
you could not keep step with,
balanced between your own needs //

This is very interesting, Will. You always grab my attention with your poetry, lovely job as per.

[willweb]

Thanks again Noodlehead. I am glad this one was to your liking.

[Lyn Anderson]

A strong piece. Not sure about the repetition of ballerina/ballet so close together. Consider perhaps changing one out, unless your goal is to repeat the theme -- it might work to say dance to replace ballet or dancer to replace ballerina. Just a suggestion, poetic license prevails.

[willweb]

Thank you for your suggestions. This was written quickly, I will consider the changes you have recommended.

[Pryde Foltz]

When the last ballerina fell
we left the theater, one row at a time
bringing to an end this ballet
of shifting moves and spinning judgments

A fabulous write, willweb. It is funny how certain works of art become so meaningful to our own lives.

[willweb]

Thank you Pryde. Your nice comments mean a lot to me.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i love the metaphor here and how you made the analogy to the film ,as this speaker felt his relationship crumbling...she was no longer dancing for him...
and it was just a bloody mess of feelings that kept trying to escape the ride home.

[willweb]

Thank you so much Jacob.

[Shirlena]

Intriguing movie too wasn't it by the way? The competition is/was so brutal. Comparing the dance of ballet, such a delicate dance in itself to the obviously tempestuous struggle to the top to love though is brilliant because being in love that is not compatible or onesided comes with it's own scabs and leaves one roughed up and beaten just the same. Nice write

[willweb]

Thank you so very much Shirlena for your nice comments. Yes the movie was deeply intriguing.