Clean up on aisle -

Why do I love grocery shopping?

 

Kids throwing tantrums for candy they’ll never get

“Little brats”

Mom ignoring them looks angry,

oh two boxes of tampons on the conveyor belt,

that explains it

 

Shopping carts filled like the Wednesday before Thanksgiving

Bigger, better, new and improved, 25% more, less sugar, zero carbs

What the hell is a trans fat, sounds like something on a muscle car  

 

Free samples around every corner

“Would you like to try some squid flavored hummus?

It’s on special today?” Sure, what aisle has pepto?

 

Milk, always at the farthest point from the doors

1%, 2%, whole, skim, chocolate, almond �" almond?

How do you milk an almond?

 

Babies crying, babies are always crying

(In a few years it’ll be wanting that candy too)

Riding in one of those plastic race car looking things

 

It’s nice they give jobs to the elderly

But, the express lane �" really

That’s right gramdma, it’s an avocado, not a grape

 

I move, one full cart space up, maybe two

Great, price check �" price check?

How many times have you wrung up the same thing?

 

Finally made it to the gossip rags:

 

Hilary’s having an affair with Barrack and she has his blue dress to prove it

 

Kirstie Alley is fat again, no she’s thin, no she’s fat, oh crap, she’s John Travolta

 

“Hi, how you doing? Great, nice to see you again”  (Who the hell was that?)

 

Why do I love grocery shopping?

It sure as hell beats being alone